Week Between Holidays Blahziness

So, Christmas has sadly come and gone for another year and now we are all rapidly approaching what I largely consider to be the most annoying holiday ever.

That's right people, I frickin' hate New Years.

Let me back up. When I was a kid it was "funnish," I guess. We got to stay up late and eat sauerkraut and sausage with sparkling grape juice after watching the ball drop. But of course, by, well, middle school the absolute last place I really wanted to be on any given night was with my Mom and "Step Dad" so the ritual just became torture. By the time I got to high school and early college I did my very best to get myself scheduled to work nice and late on December 31st so as to have a decent excuse to avoid the holiday.

And it wasn't that I was, like, so bummed not to have any significant other to spend the evening with, because to this very day Matt and I rarely even bother to stay up. New Years is just, well, DUMB. And actually, come to think of it Matt and I didn't spend the first 2 New Years of our relationship together. The first year we'd been dating for a few weeks and he had to work and the second year I was in New Orleans with the OSU marching band for the Sugar Bowl. In year 3 we were together since the Buckeyes sucked and didn't go to a bowl game but I started the evening a little early with a few too many tequila shots and by midnight that year I was just trying very hard not to, like, die. So much for partying like it was 1999 (which it was,) How very romantic. I'm positive Matt didn't think so.

But I digress...

Celebrating New Years. Seriously, it's dumb! Hey everyone! Let's all stay up "late" and celebrate the changing of an arbitrary number assigned to our planet as we struggle to organize our own concept of movement through time and space. It's the dumbest thing ever.

And, oh, while I'm at it, since in the next coming week I'm going to struggle to remember to write the correct date on everything, let me make a bunch of dumb declarations about how I shall better myself in this newly numbered time period.

or, you know...

I'll try to.

and if I'm really lucky, maybe I'll manage to keep this resolution for, what, a week and a half?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's what happens to me on New Years.

Since I am my mother's daughter (much to every bit of my dismay) I take the opportunity to freak out about all that is to come.

Seriously, my mother had only 2 ways of reacting to things. She either doesn't care or it's like THE WORST THING EVER. Usually it was the latter. The sump pump goes out during a snow storm and the basement, full of nothing but junk anyway floods and... "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! EVERYBODY DROP EVERYTHING AND WALLOW IN HOW MUCH LIFE SUCKS!" or, I don't know, one time the stupid little hose that sent water to the refrigerator ice maker snapped and water was slowly dripping all over the "extraordinarily precious" linoleum kitchen floor and she was all... "OH WHOA IS ME! LET'S BLAME THE CHILDREN BECAUSE SURELY ITS THEIR FAULT THE FLOOR IS *GASP* WET! WHATEVER SHALL WE DO!!!!! IT SURELY MUST BE THE END OF THE WORLD! EVERYTHING IS RUINED!!!!'

(Allow me please to take a long moment to roll my eyes.)

But still, though I try to repress it, the genetics are there and I am very sorry to admit that I am wired in a very similar way. While the rational side of me USUALLY keeps me in check, I do tend to have the same "it's the end of the world" way of viewing, well, anything stressful.

Take last year for example... on January 1, 2008 all I could think about was the fact that for 7 of the next 12 months Matt was going to be deployed. How very dismal of me.

And, in the end, the deployment sucked. it really sucked. But we made it through and now we are on the flip side happy and better than ever.

Til New Years.

As 2009 approaches this is was I have on my mind:

I have to finish my teaching portfolio in the next few weeks and clear my credential, if I ever plan on working another year as a teacher in California and I am pregnant which means I'm sick all the time and very soon I will have to get very fat and this is pretty much rendering me completely useless when it comes to fixing up our house, which needs to get fixed up because Matt is transferring this summer and we need to find renters, and oh what if the baby comes early and we haven't moved yet or we don't have housing but oh how will we pay our bills if we don't find renters and oh while I'm at it, why don't I just worry a little bit about whether or not the the baby is going to be healthy...

You get the drift.

Sure, I could be exicted about all the great things to come, but I'm not wired that way. I hear New Years and I start to panic.

None of this stuff is new. Well, the pregnancy stuff is kind of new, but that's not the point, we've known about Matt transferring this summer since BEFORE we even moved out of Japan. Why then am I choosing to worry about it all now?

That's right. Because somewhere, sometime, some one decided we ought to make a big freaking deal out of New Years and take the opportunity reflect on the all the New Year will have to offer us. And all my mind can do is stress out. Me, the same person who, like, 3 nights ago was so content in her life's blessings. I stinking hate New Years. Bah humbug, or something.

Merry Christmas!

Well, this year the time has really gotten away from me. I have a hard time believing it is December let alone Christmas day as everything has been a bit of a blur. School days fly by, evenings and weekends are a hectic mess. Yet, some how, happily, this most magical day is upon us and I find myself with a moment to sit down and just breath a sigh of contentment. And, of course update my blog. :)

I was laying in bed last night like a silly little girl completely unable to sleep with all the Christmas Eve excitement. As I lay there, talking to God in my prayers, I had the most exciting realization... there wasn't anything that I wanted that I needed to pray for. Now hold the phone, yes of course I have things to pray for, family and friends that need blessing, and I always need His guidance. But as I lay there it occurred to me that I have everything I could really ever want for. An awesome husband, who's home safe, and has a successful career, my own satisfying career, two gorgeous adorable cats, one awesome and crazy puppy, a home, my health, a great family, tremendous friends and the child growing in my belly that I've always wished for.

What an awesome thought! God is awesome! He really has given me everything to be grateful for and nothing to want for. And in these trying times, that is nothing to be sneezed at.

So anyway, before I go on, with posting some pictures of our latest antics allow me to say it "out loud" here for all to hear/read: I am so blessed and honored at the joyful life my God has allowed for me, I only hope that all of you are able to find the same feeling of blessedness in your near futures.

Now, as promised some of our latest photos:

Matt and Brutus having a nap together...



Sea World Penguins and snow-penguin...



Us at Sea World during the Christmas celebration...



Sea World's Christmas Camel...



A very sleepy looking reindeer at Sea World (who should have been quite happy since it was raining. Isn't that what they like? Harharhar!)...



Chase and KC in their very favorite spot to sleep this time of year (under the tree of course)...



Matt making Christmas dinner a few minutes ago while Brutus begs to be allowed to "help"...



Matt proudly displaying his Christmas wine purchase, "Three Blind Moose," hehehehee...



And of course, Brutus happily destroying a wrapping paper roll...

Congratulations, its a blurry, bouncing, baby blob!

So, it's been another interesting day. It started off the same as most, until I needed to go to work and called to Brutus to come inside and he wouldn't. I mean he reeeeally wouldn't. He ran from me, up and down the hill for a good, 20 minutes, making me later and later to work. When I finally did catch him he screamed BLOODY murder and I wouldn't be surprised if at any moment the ASPCA showed up on my doorstep to arrest me for puppy abuse.

Maybe I should have just left him outside to potentially get eaten by coyotes.

*sigh*

Anyway, when I did make it school it was a big blur. I'd moved my afternoon classes around to this morning to ensure that I was going to be able to make it down to Miramar in time for my doctor's appointment. It all went by so quickly, if I didn't KNOW I'd been there earlier today, I wouldn't even believe it.

So, this afternoon Matt and I meet up and head off to Miramar. It should be noted that for the last several years we have been delaying any attempts at having babies so that Matt would be able to be around for the pregnancy and especially the birth.
However, by the end of the visit, I was beginning to see a bit of a fault in that plan.

Matt was nervous, I guess, which is absolutely to be expected. I was nervous too. However, when he gets nervous he misbehaves. Period.

First, he vibrated. Literally vibrated in his chair while he waited..

Then he offered assistance where CLEARLY he could give none. (ie, producing a urine sample for me.)

Then he made silly little jokes.

Then I sort of lost it and cried a little. The midwife made it ALLLL better by obliging me with a quick ultrasound right off the bat so that I would stop worrying, calm down and focus on her medical history questions.

He sort of looked at me funny most of the time during the medical history.

It should also be noted that somewhere in there he went to the restroom himself and then took GREAT pride in informing everyone that he'd left the seat up especially since we were in the Women's Clinic.

He stood by my side and looked veeeery uncomfortable during the exam.

Then he stood by my side and looked uncomfortable some more as the lovely Midwife lady literally rearranged the ENTIRE room to get the ultrasound machine in the appropriate position for the formal look. He finally offered to help her, after she was done moving everything.

Then he saw the ultrasound wand and made me really start to wish I hadn't married the "funny guy." Forgetting what she was doing to me, I'm sure it didn't not help to have me laughing nervously at Matt's witty banter.

Seriously, when he's nervous, he makes jokes.

But in the end, we did get some good photos. :)




I bet you're all sitting around wondering now what Matt had to say at catching his first glimpse of his first child. Well, at the time he didn't say much of anything. Later on the way home, he mentioned being surprised how much the baby moved. He also said that the baby, with its arms up by its humongous head looked liked a puppy.

Just what we need in this house. Another puppy.

Confusing things

You'll have to forgive me once again for another blogging hiatus. The prenatal Narcolepsy still has me in bed extraordinarily early every night (especially last week when Matt was at sea.) In addition, I finally finished the original OTC bottle of prenatal vitamins and subsequently started on the Naval Hospital issued ones.

The mere smell of these pills turns me green so I was less than eager to start the bottle. I should have gone with my first instinct, because, let's just say they disagree with me. A lot. I only actually threw up Monday and Friday (because apparently there wasn't enough food in my stomach) but each time was so bad I still look like I have overly bloodshot eyes because I burst blood vessels in them while literally hurling my guts out. When I wasn't puking, I was either really thinking about it or enjoying those really excellent hiccuppy-vomit flavored burbs approximately every 8-10 minutes.

Blegh.

So yea, today marks 10 weeks since the start of my last menstrual cycle. This also means that tomorrow I FINALLY get to go in for an actual Doctor's appointment and hopefully ultrasound. I only pray that everything is found to be ok so far.




In other news:

This has been an awful day for the military in San Diego. None of it directly affects me, but its the sort of stuff that just affects you anyway.

It all started (for us anyway) when the ship called Matt Sunday afternoon. I knew it was a bad call because it was the XO (second in command) who would only ever be on the ship on a weekend if something major had gone down.

Apparently, a young sailor who'd been on the ship for maybe 6 months or so decided to hang himself yesterday. When the guys found him they performed CPR and for awhile, recovered a pulse, but he officially died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. The boy was working on the mess decks serving food (as many newly arrived sailors do) and therefore Matt was near the top of his chain of command. So far no one has found any answers as to why he did it. Matt meanwhile is left trying to console his guys (especially those who tried to revive him and who worked beside
him everyday.)

It's just so, confusing. And horrible.

For some extra fun, I'm sure that anyone who's looked at a television screen today has heard that a Marine Corps plane crashed today in the part of La Jolla known as University City. The pilot ejected and is going to be ok, but several houses were destroyed and at least 3 people are confirmed to have been killed on the ground. A mother and her 2 kids.

How can anyone even wrap there mind around this information?

I'm reeling from the tragedy aboard Matt's ship and then another tragedy happens. And this one is so, seemingly, random! My heart aches for the lives lost, for the families who lost them and for the pilot who could in no real way be held personally responsible for his malfunctioning aircraft but that will no doubt blame himself regardless. Because well, how could he not? Witnesses who helped him get in touch with his command after he ejected mentioned on the news interviews that this concern for the safety of the people in the area was basically all the pilot spoke of.

What an awful day.

I mean, in the grand scheme of, well, EVERYTHING, I guess not really.

But, for a small group of others, on a very personal level, it must really, really suck. In the absolute worst kind of way.



I know that God has a plan. I know that I must trust in Him and that all things happen for a reason. I know it is not my place to question. Some days are just harder than others.