My Trip to Chicago for the MARATHON!! (Part 2- The Main Event)

There's so much that I want to write down about the race itself.  This huge monumental accomplishment in my life that I trained for for so long.

But time keeps passing and I'm so busy with everything that I just don't know if I'm ever going to be able to tell the story in any way that would do it justice.

I'm not feeling great right now.  I think I've caught another round of the teacher "crud."  I really would rather be sleeping, but this thing is hanging over my head so I'm just going to get started on it now and see how it goes.

To begin with the night before.  It was pretty early when I got back to my hotel room laid out all of my things and went to bed.  Except sleep wasn't something that was coming easily that night.  I called home and I talked to Matt and Peter.  (A.J. was refusing to talk to me, except for a very sulky, very soft spoken "I love you Mommy" occassionally which told me she was very very unhappy that I'd left her.)  Matt did his normal encouraging routine and then put Peter on.  Peter told me to try to win.  I laughed and told him that really wasn't going to happen.  I started to explain about how long the race was, and how slow I am and how big a deal this was that there would be like "professional" racers participating to try to win....  Except before I got very far into any of that, he said, "But even if you get last, Mommy, I'll still love you.  Just do your best."  

Oh Em Gee.

That was the perfect thing.

Also, earlier in the evening, one of the speakers at our Inspiration Dinner was some guy known as the Penguin.  He's a runner and a writer and I guess he's written for Runners World for a long time.  He talked for a long time and told lots of fun stories, but two bits that he said stuck with me the most.  He was going on about how speed doesn't matter in a marathon, but that just being brave enough to start is what's important.  He reminded us that officially, if an athlete can consider themselves an Olympian, they only need to START the event they qualify for.  They don't need to place or even finish.  They just need to start.  So, he told us, all of us, but meaning really to catch the attention of all us first timers, by that logic, all we needed to do was cross the start line in the morning and we could call ourselves marathon runners.

Haha.

I'm not sure that's true, but I did like the idea.  Being a marathon runner isn't really about finishing at all is it?  It's about ATTEMPTING one.

He also reminded us that all the REALLY interesting marathon runners are in the back corrals.  You don't normally find the cancer survivors and the recovering alcoholics with any really interesting stories to tell in corral A.  If you know what I mean.  (MATTHEW.)

So anyway....

Eventually, with these thoughts on my mind, I did get some sleep that night, fitfully.  I woke up at about a quarter til 5, which was 15 minutes before my alarm.  I tossed and turned in my bed until it went off.  Then I jumped up, took a quick shower, made myself a small cup of coffee, got dressed and headed down to the lobby to meet our group at 5:30.

Shortly there after the whole herd of us in our awful throw-away sweatpants and ugly fleeces and trash bags and things headed out.  The start line was about a mile's walk away, but we had to take kind of a roundabout route to get there, because with security, there were only certain entrances where runners could get in to access the start corrals.  I was in the the very last corral, so I had to walk the furthest, but I also had the longest wait until I would start.

Coming up the street immediately outside our hotel, the wind hit me for the first time in Chicago FOR real.  Goodness was it cold and I think all of us there walking started panicking about how we'd run if it was gusting like that during the race.  I was freezing until finally a happened upon a nice TNT coach with an extra garbage bag that he gave me to wear (with just a hole poked in the bottom for my head) upside down like a coat, to block the wind and help keep me warm.  It worked too.

The next couple of hours are sort of a blur.  We went through a security checkpoint to enter the start line area.  People checked bags of their gear and drank Gatorade.  I ate an apple and we all took turns using the porta-potties.  We milled around chatting about random stuff, trying to ignore our nerves. Right about 7 am we heard somebody singing the National Anthem.  Not long after that they sent off the elite runners and the race officially began.  Those of us in the back still had a good hour more to wait.

They were expecting 50,000 runners that day.

There was definitely a long while there while I sat on the cold concrete ground kind of by myself, because I was surrounded by strangers.  I was cold and I kept telling myself not to waste my energy by shivering.  I was so scared.  I would have done anything to get out of that place and the entire situation right then.  But there wasn't any other place to go.  I'd come too far for it anyway, there was no way I could really have quit then.  Just because something is really really scary, sometimes you have to face it anyway.

I had a really prime start position right near the front of my corral, but I gave it up because with just about 20 minutes to go until we were to start, I really felt nature call again.  By then the substantial potty-lines had died down, so I went ahead and went again, because there was no telling how long the lines on course would be, nor how many miles it would be before there was a "rest area."  

(This turned out to be a very good choice.  It was a couple miles before the first potties on the course and the lines for them were all pretty long for at least the first 10 miles of the race.)

By the time I got back into my corral, the thing was packed.  We were herded in there like cattle, that was for sure.  I pushed my way as far back up towards the front as I could but I never did find the same group of people I'd been with before.  It didn't matter, they were all strangers anyway.  Even on a team, I still never had anybody to run with.  Most people in the back where I was either weren't prepared at all, or planned on doing some sort of run/walk combo.  I never did that and have always just run.  Slowly, sure, but I just run.  And on training runs, if I needed to or wanted to walk, I just did.  No plan.  No rhyme or reason, just keep moving forward.  

Nobody I knew could ever understand this about me, or really stay with me.  I was always too slow or too fast.  Or, a lot of times, people just took turns with me about who gets to be in front.  I pass them on their walks, and then they pass me again on their runs.  Whatever.

Just after 8 am they finally started letting us move up.  It was slow going and the actual start line must have been more than a good half mile away from where we started.  Everybody stripped off their trash bags and sweats and things as we got closer.  We started up our watches locating satillites.  It was about time to do this thing.  I don't even know how I felt, I just knew I had to try to go, so, that was what I was going to do.  

Me, right before the start.  I left my jacket on for the fist mile or so.
This smile and thumbs up was all I could muster.  

Now.... before I go any further, I did have my phone with me, because I always bring it, but I didn't stop to take any pictures.  I never do when I run, I guess.  Not because I am too concerned about my pace or anything, just, I try to keep my running memories in my head, I guess.  

Even still, when you're preparing to write a blog about a race, and people post loads of cool pictures of things you clearly remember seeing along the way, well, you borrow those pictures if you can, to help tell your story.

So then at about 8:15 or so, I found myself standing someplace that looked like this....

Photo credit to Emily Hampton

I started a little timer on my ipod (that I wasn't even using for music for most of the race) just in case my watch lost it's signal or the battery died or something.  I got ready to start my watch.  I secured my fuel belt.  I tried to make a note of the time on the official race clock.  (I quickly forgot what it said anyway.)

And then, not sure if it was a gun or an air horn or what, but f-i-n-a-l-l-y, we were off.

I started running.  Slowly.  People zoomed past me and around me everywhere.  I didn't care.  I concentrated hard on taking it easy and getting my legs to feel normal moving under me again and just trotted a long.  I checked my pace a lot on my watch.

We went straight for a wee bit and then the course sloped down into a tunnel.  I wondered about the satellites' signal on my watch.  I looked at random spectators.  I noticed cars stopped along the side of the roads we were passing in the big tunnel.  It seemed like a long way.  Then finally we came out of it and we headed back out into the sun and I think immediately onto a bridge.  I remembered from the days before noticing that a lot of the bridges were drawbridges and most of them were made of a think metal mesh where you could look down and see the water below you through the street.  Thank goodness they'd put down some sort of mat to cover that for us now.  Except I tripped on the mat.  Oh well.

As I came off the bridge I just looked around me, it was cool and bright and nice.  There were already a lot of fans out cheering for everyone, even though it was just the start of the race.  We soon turned left.  I knew enough about the course from the map to expect this.  We needed to cut back over to Michigan Avenue for a bit and then I think further over more to State Street.  We headed that way (away from the Lake) for a couple blocks.  It was longer than I had expected it to be.  I ditched my jacket some place in there and wondered if it was too early for that.   Being as we were still in the first mile I had to remind myself a lot to keep running.  I mean, it was exciting since there were so many people everywhere cheering for us, but also, I hadn't settled in yet.

Somewhere we passed the first mile marker.  It seemed to have been a long time coming.  I took relief in the fact that my watch was still fairly in sync with it and only beeped a couple yards early to mark off the same distance.  I reminded myself again to try to run the tangents, and not to weave too much.

We turned left again.  We were heading back the way we'd come now, only a couple streets over.  I recognized some of it from the walk I'd taken the day before.  There were cool landmarks and things everywhere.  I noticed some of them, I'll be honest, but it was so early in the race and so crowded I was just going on autopilot I think.  Trying not to go too fast, or too slow, or weave too much.  Trying not to trip.  Etc.

Photo credit to Emily Hampton.

Finally we reached the first aid station.  I knew there were going to have 20 of them, so it worked out to be like every one and half miles or so.  But since my plan was to run all day but walk through the aid stations to drink and refuel, it was a relief when we finally got to one and I could do something for a minute other than just run.

We turned again, and to be honest I don't remember anything about this bit.  There may have been a few more turns as we weaved through down town, but eventually, we turned right again and this kind of wrapped up the first part of the course (the beginning 1-2 miles) and then set us off heading way west (I think, running parallel to the Lake's shore.)  We would head this way on a long, straight path, for the next 5-6 miles.  I'd read several race guides that kind of talked about this as the next section. We would run way out north for 5-6 miles and then basically, turn around and come back to roughly were we started, right before the half way mark of the marathon.

We were still very much down town when we started.  Eventually the street widened and there was a berm in the middle with trees and stuff.  It was confusing to me that we had our pick of either side of the road.  There were spectators on either side, and even quite a lot in the middle.  I ran on.  I was starting to feel settled but my right foot was bugging me.

Now... let me just be honest.  My right foot has bothered me the ENTIRE training season.  It's so annoying too because up until now my left foot was the one that gave me problems.  But no.  This year I had numbness problems which I think honestly resulted from me lacing my shoes up too tight sometimes and I had toe problems a LOT.  I actually switched shoes early in September because of the toe problems because it was so bad sometimes that I wouldn't be able to keep running.  I have a crooked 4th toe and, I guess, running on a sloped shoe (like running shoes almost all are) can aggravate crooked toes.  Additionally, my original shoes this season kind of point a lot in the toes and it seems like these were smushing my toes together and making it worse.  So then I got different, less pointy shoes and it seemed to be better with the crooked toe thing, but I kept getting blisters on my big toe and still.... because I am a moron sometimes, I still would get the numbness thing when my feet would start to swell (your feet swell when you run long distances, it's just a thing that happens) and so there I was, trying to run a marathon and my right foot was starting to go all numb.

Ugh.

It sounds so stupid now, but let me promise you that the better part of miles 3-5 were spent considering this foot.  Sometimes the numbness went away on its own you see. Or was my sock bunching up?  Was I just getting a blister?  What the heck?  Ow.  How does something feeling "numb" hurt so much.

Finally I "pulled over" for a minute.  I propped my foot up on the ledge of the berm in the middle of the street and took my shoe off.  I tugged on and adjusted my sock.  I wiggled my toes   I loosened my laces and retied.  I felt frustrated at the time I lost, which is so dumb because it was so early.  And also because I kept telling myself (and everyone else) it wasn't about the time, I just wanted to finish. And actually, I didn't even care if I failed to finish in time and earn a medal, I just wanted to cover the distance.

Except I did care.

Obviously I did.

I was trying to stay between the last two pace groups (5:25 and 5:45 hours total finish time.)  And I was doing okay with it until the darned foot.

Oh well.  Keep moving forward.

Even after the stop, it was another good mile until the foot felt better.

By then we were kind of leaving the main downtown area.  It was still very urban, but less and less so, if that makes any sense.  The high rises fell behind us.  The sky became more and more visible again.  But still the crowds were everywhere.  Wow.

I trotted along.  I suppose I kind of zoned out and fell into a rhythm of run for awhile, and then walk through the aid stands.  Drink some Gatorade, drink some water.  Toss cups, starting running again. Repeat and repeat AAAAnd repeat.

Eventually the road curved off to our right a bit.  Or maybe we made some turns, I don't remember, but we ended up in a green area.  I guess it was Lincoln Park.  I don't know for sure.  The crowds thinned a bit, but I saw the first couple of bands playing here.  That was cute.  We were still heading generally parallel to the shore of the lake, west-ish (I think) but now we were a lot closer to the water. Somewhere along the way, I spotted it across the street from us.

Right around the 10K mark, (I felt happy to have Matt and my friends tracking me receive another split) I found my friend Emily.  She had started a corral ahead of me, but was doing a run/walk thing so I had caught up to her.  I talked to her for awhile, and strongly considered hanging back and moving with her, but I felt too good to slow down.  My watch had me at around a 12:15/mile pace and it felt good.  I was shooting to stay between 12 and 13 on average (including walking through water stations) so I as feeling pleased with myself so far and wound up wishing her luck and just moving on.  I actually fully expected her to catch back up to me, but she never did.

Right after that we seemed to go through some University type area.  It might not have been that at all, but the buildings sure seemed to resemble Dorms to me.  Nice ones though.  Not like many of the ones at Ohio State back in the day. Haha. The crowds were thinner now, but always we felt support of fans.  Lots of people were watching us from the windows in those tall dormitory type buildings.
I wonder what University that is.  Maybe I should look that up?

I also remember noticing the weather about this point.  I'd been going for nearly 2 hours by then, so it must have been nearing 10:30 am.  It felt good actually, but cool.  I am sure I was sweating, but I never felt like it.  We had been really lucky most of the summer training along the fog (gloom, marine layer) on the coast in San Diego for most of the summer, but when we got to the LONG runs (17 and 20 miles especially) our cloud cover had been gone and it had been brutally hot.  This Midwestern autumn thing was totally different.  Perfect perhaps.  I talked to some guys from a Puerto Rican running club about that a lot actually.

Finally, somewhere around mile 8 we took a left turn.  We had reached the furthest "out" point of this second part of the race and would now soon start heading back towards the central part of the city. How exciting.  It was getting crowded again too.  It was on this little stretch that I saw my first TNT coach.  I'd seen TNT workers and supporters all day and had been enthusiastically giving grins and thumbs up to purple-supporters all day, but it was exciting to see a coach at last.

He asked me how I was doing and I said "good." He fell into stride with me for a blink or two and then saw that I really was "good" so he wished me well and sent me on my way.

So much for that.

We turned left again and were headed back (eventually) towards downtown.

A person who knows a lot more about Chicago than me (or maybe one who was at least not too lazy to get up and find her race booklet to check the course map) would probably tell you what neighborhoods we were in, but it got fun.  Every few blocks seemed to bring a new flavor of culture and noise and excitement.  If nothing else, there was lots of interesting stuff to look at.

More than a week later, the "gays" still jump to my mind.  There was a whole couple blocks there where they were all out in swarms.  Boys being out and proud.  Boys twirling rifles color guard style. Boys drumming.  Boys dancing. Boys in drag dancing and cheer leading.  A lot of those boys looked annoyingly better as girls than I do.  What's up with that anyway?

I'm sure there was lots more actually, but it's all kind of blur again.  Just as we'd taken that long straight away run away from downtown for 5 (or so miles) now we were taking it back.  I have no way to describe it really, other than to reference Emily's pictures again because seeing them jogs my memories better than anything else.

"Finish the race... keep the Faith"  A Salvation Army sign.  These popped up along the course many times.
(Photo Credit to Emily Hampton.)

An Elvis impersonator.  He was some place as we neared the city again, so I don't think these pictures posted in the right order, but whatever.  Some other runner guy was giving him a high five when I passed him.  I don't remember what song he was singing and that irritates me.  (Photo credit to Emily Hampton)

Some of the cheerleaders in Boys Town.  (Photo credit to Emily Hampton)

I have no actual clue if "Boys Town" is even what this area is known as.  I just heard some people call it that as we ran through so I'm going with it.  If that's horribly wrong, please forgive me.

I'm not 100% sure where this sign was.  Some place along this strip though I think.  And actually, I may have seen it more than once.  My friends told me the course was laid out well for spectators to jump spots to catch their runners multiple times.  Anyway, I'm glad she got a picture of it, because this sign made me laugh when I read it.  "Hurry!!  The Kenyans are drinking all your beer."  (Photo credit to Emily Hampton.)

Pretty sure the Kenyan runners made a clean sweep of the race honors that day.  Not that I would know.  They probably finished before my 10K split.

This next one was easily my favorite.  I'm so glad she took a picture of it too.  This bar might
have had a sign contest going or something.  But in any case, it also had the best sign I saw ALL day, hands down.
You can see it in the middle, on the yellow poster.  "No time for Walken."  And there's a picture of Christopher Walken.
Hahah.  (Photo credit to Emily Hampton)

So... by this time we were well and truly headed back into the city again.  Actually, I think we might have gone through this lovely tree lined neighborhood of stone row houses first. It was gorgeous and seemed a little random but then it passed just as quickly as it had come up on us.  Then there was less and less sky above us again and more and more sky scrapers.  But honestly I didn't really notice because I was more concentrating on finishing this phase of the race and moving onto the next part.  We'd done the little downtown beginning "loop"  (that was not a loop at all,) and we'd done the big northern out and back.  Any minute now we'd start to head west for the next big chunk.

Oh, well, first we'd hit the 15K split, which must have been somewhere near the "Walken" sign, and while I kind of remember hitting it and thinking "how nice, another update for my people" I have no Earthly recollection about it otherwise.

Because somewhere in that stretch two of my run/walk team mates from San Diego passed me.  And, actually, they had picked up a friend, another team mate from SD's chapter but that doesn't matter. What does matter is that, while I was happy to see a few familiar faces, I was not happy to have them pass me.  I had usually managed to finish before them on the longer training runs, even though their run/walk pace usually averaged out some place very similar to my own moving pace.   So naturally, when I got passed by them, well, I became very mature and got a little annoyed.  I was feeling so good.... how were they beating me?!?!?

For a good couple of miles we wound up trading back and forth.  I kept trying not to be stupid about it.  I wanted them to do well.  I wanted myself to do well too.  But then I noticed one of them, the one I knew best probably, struggling.  She'd been having foot issues all season as well.  Much more serious foot issues than my silly crap too.  Oh no.  Twice I saw her drop to a walk early and tell her running mates to go on ahead without her.  They passed me again and again at aid stations.  Who knows  Maybe they just wanted to beat me too.

We'd crossed the river already again, so I knew we were already back on the southern side, and were sort of scooting along the edge of the downtown area.  At one point I remember looking ahead and seeing an El train approaching a few blocks ahead overhead.  It looked like it would jump the track and come crashing down onto the street towards me.  But then it took a turn and disappeared between some buildings again.

Apparently, right around mile 12ish, we were passing by the Willis (SEARS) Tower.

Photo credit to Emily Hampton.

And I mean, that's cool and all, even though I TOTALLY MISSED IT.

I mean, really, who looks that far up when they're running?

By mile 12 I was preoccupied with two things actually (other than skyscrappers, especially since even though my friend had told me we'd run right by it, I'd never bothered to make a mental note of when this would be):

1.)  I'd just passed my team mates again.  I'd asked the one how she was doing and she'd lost it a little again.  Her foot was really bad.  She told her friends to go on again.  She dropped to a walk and pulled herself off to the side of the road to slow down.

I felt terrible.  I wanted to be faster than her, but definitely not like this.  Not at all.  I felt bad for asking her how she was and upsetting her more.  I hoped she was okay.  I wondered if she'd find a way to finish even though....

Oh and also,
2.) I suddenly (okay not that suddenly at all) really needed to use the bathroom.  I'd had a half a cup of Gatorade and a half a cup of water or more at every aid station for a good 10 miles and I was about to burst.  The bathrooms near 11 looked promising with a short line, but I really didn't want to stop until the half way point.  Ugggggggghhhhh.

Another TNT coach joined me.  He asked how I was and I told him great save my potty needs.  He laughed at my concern for my 13.1 split and told me if I needed to go to just go.  No sense prolonging it.  I was doing fine and didn't need to worry about a few minutes wasted on the toilet.

At mile 12 I went.  Ew. I tried not to touch anything.  I used the water at the next aid station to rinse off my hands.  But at least I had relieved that problem.

Finally we reached the half way point.  It was a big cheering section with a big jumbo screen and signs and excitement.  It was exciting.  Although I know I felt disappointed with my half way split according to my watch, I reminded myself that it didn't matter.  Half way.  I was half way done.  It had been about 2 hours and 45 minutes so far.  How much longer would this second part take me?

Things were only just now going to get interesting.

We went over another bridge.... seriously is there more than one river in Chicago that I don't know about?  I know this because the mat thing that made it so you couldn't se through to the water didn't cover the whole thing and I had to sort of jump over onto it because I literally could not make myself put my foot down on the other part.  Also because EVERY time I went over one of those bridges I caught my toe and tripped on the mats.

I thought about the previous couple big races I'd run.  At the end of a half.... I would have already been done.  Wow.  This is totally different than a half.  I mean, a half is fun and can be a challenge. But TWICE that?  Literally this was a whole new game.

And alright so I know what HALF means.  It just never sunk in before.  13.1 miles seems like a lot. It is a LOT.  But even though it is only twice that to do a full, I feel like really it is just so much more. It's one thing to do ANYTHING for 2-3 hours.  It's another to do something for literally TWICE that. Everything just kind of starts to get interesting after mile 13 for some reason, I just have no idea why.

In any case, Dave and Allison said they'd try to come find me near mile 20.  I had 7 miles until I'd see them....

Even though outside of a race, 7 miles is kind of a long way to run, in the grand scheme of THAT day, 7 miles seemed like a nice, manageable number.

I zoned in and out on these thoughts for a good few miles I guess.  I remember seeing these  things, just, I'm not sure where.

For real.  I know I saw this.  I have no clue when it was.  (Photo credit to Emily Hampton.)

We went through another college area.  It started with medium rise collegey looking apartments with big New Orleans style party balconies and then flowed into sports fields.  Whole slews of people and groups were out offering runners free treats.  Gummy bears, ice, potato chips, cookies, water, jelly beans, star bursts.... who knows what else.  I never took any of it.  I had enough stuff in my belt. Also, I didn't want to risk screwing up my stomach.  But I surely appreciated all the nice offers.

Then, kind of suddenly, I noticed a hug arena place that we were running by.  I had never heard of it, so I asked some people near by.  The told me it's where The Bulls play basketball and the Blackhawks play hockey.  I wondered aloud why the athetes or cheerleaders or something weren't out to support us.  The people said the teams were all away for games.  Um.... The Bears for sure, were out of town, because we watched part of that game after the race before dinner that evening.  And hockey?  Well, I know it does have a long season so that may be.  But the Bulls?   The NBA is definitely not yet playing in mid October right?  Right?  (I have no idea.)

Soon after, at we stopped heading west (much sooner than I expected actually) and turned left again.  It was right before the marker for mile 15.  I remember this clearly because the guy who I'd been talking about the arena with had called out that it was going to be mile 16 and then we were all disappointed.  Oops.

A couple blocks and we turned left again, now we were heading back towards the city and downtown again.  We were already half done with this third "leg" of the race.


(Continued another week later, after I fell asleep writing this and then got too busy to get back to it for awhile.)


I was kind of just chugging along at this point.  My feet hurt. I was feeling stiff.  But the fans kept cheering and I just kept moving forward.  I helped myself to a few bites of some kind of energy chews they'd been handing out a few miles back at an aid station.  If nothing else, it was a welcome change from the Gu Energy gels I was used to.  I giggled to myself about how I was trying something new during the race.  Our coach back in San Diego told us a half a million times probably not to do anything different on race day.

Oops.

I was right in the middle of reminding myself that it would be another 3 or 4 miles until I saw my friends when a TNT coach fell into stride with me.  He asked how I was doing and I told him I was good.  We talked about how my feet hurt and he reminded me that they had good reason to.  He asked about my pacing and if I was running the whole thing or doing a run/walk strategy.  He (like everyone else) seemed to think it was odd that I was running the whole thing and yet still  moving so slowly.  (Grrr.)  He talked for awhile about some old guys who have drastically reduced their marathons times with run/walk strategies.  I thought to myself how nice that was, but it didn't have anything to do with me.  I had blown off all but about 3 of my week day work outs this summer.  Clearly those mid-week speed runs would have helped me with my pacing, had I done them.  If I'd cared.  I wasn't in this for the speed.  I was in this for the cause, and to do the distance, and my only concern time wise was to finish in under 6 1/2 hours, which was the official (although I've heard, very loosely enforced) course time limit.

The coach guy bid me farewell after a half mile or so and I went on in my own head giggling to myself about how I was nearly 80% done with my first marathon even though I'd blown off all my week day workouts when suddenly, there screaming at me from behind a big metal fencey-barricade-crowd control thing were Dave and Allison!!!  Whattttt???  3 miles early! Wow!  I was so excited to see them.  I veered over to them and gave them big hugs.  Allison held up a sign and did a little cheer.  Dave grinned and said something that I totally don't remember at all and then I got back on my way.

So that was nice.  How unexpected to see them so early!  How thrilling that they really did make it out to see me.  Not that I thought they'd blow it off, but, I don't know.  What if they had?  Or what if they'd missed me, or something.

Oh.  But now I still had like 9 more miles to go without anyone else to look forward too.

*sigh*

We were back, for the time being, in a little more of a down-towny area.  But we soon rounded another corner, turning right.  We'd made all the way through that second "arm" of the race and now, so far as I could remember there was just a big mess of stuff on the last part.  We'd gone around down town some.  Then we'd gone way north.  Then we'd gone west.  Now there was "just" a big part that was south of the start and finish.  Trouble was, I couldn't for the life of me remember how it was going to go.

We turned right again, and headed back west again.  This was confusing.  I didn't remember that coming, but as it turned out there were actually two little finger or arms of the course that headed out and back to the south.  This might have been the Little Italy type area.  I think.  I mean, I seem to remember it that way, but it wasn't like hugely obvious with big signs or anything that I can remember.  I think I just saw a few food Italian places.  Maybe.  Or I might be making that all up.  Anyway, So we went a couple miles-ish back to the west and then turned to our left.  We went through a confusing area where it seemed kind of deserted.  I think we were kind of between a couple of major highways or something.  I think we went over (or under?) a train track or two, and maybe a highway.  We definitely went back over a river again.  The crowds cleared out almost completely for a bit.

We'd been warned this might happen somewhere in miles 20-23 it might die down in areas.  I passed a TNT girl I'd been hanging with a bit through out the week.  She seemed to be doing well, but not enjoying herself.  I don't know why she wasn't happy, but I wished her well and went on.  I also got out my headphones.  If it was going to be quiet for awhile, I may as well entertain myself.

I had added a couple new songs to my little iPod shuffle and was looking forward to listening to them and cruising for awhile when we turned another corner and it got insanely loud.  Hmmm.  Maybe I wasn't to the quiet area quite yet.  I guess it was only about mile 19 anyway.  We went through a very Spanish-languages culturally influenced area.  I hesitate to try to label it better than that because I wasn't really paying attention but it definitely had that Latin flair.  Loud music with all sorts of flavor was blaring.  People were dancing and yelling and handing out tortillas and things.  I don't know.  It was actually insane.  I was kind of annoyed at all the support because a great new song had just come on and I couldn't hear it.  And every time I restarted it, when the music seemed to be behind me, I'd get in earshot of somebody else's booming speakers.  Seriously.  I don't remember how long it lasted for, probably around a mile or so, but that mile had S-P-I-R-I-T.  Serrrrriously.

Exhaustingly so.

Or, maybe I was just getting tired.

And then.  Right as I came out of it and got to the 20 mile marker I was sort of trying to relax and zone out again, there was Dave again, jumping out in to the street and pointing his phone at me.  I didn't know what he was doing, taking pictures or shooting video or what but I was so surprised to see him again.  I just smiled and waved and kept running by.

Weird.

After it happened I was all amused.  They came to see me twice!  They love me!  What amazing friends I have!!  Imagine, my two non-runner friends who'd taken their Sunday morning and come to see me run this thing!  AND, after they'd seen me, they crossed over to see me again!!!  They didn't just leave and go home to wait me out?  They didn't just go find breakfast or, I don't know, (what time was it by now anyway) a nice bar to drink waste away the afternoon in until I was done?  

Weird.

I swear that is what I was thinking.  Honestly, I was so shocked that they'd come to see me again.

I'm a dork maybe.

So then, we went around a couple more corners,  I think we came to the end of that second west side "leg" of the course.

LEGS of the course.  Not arms or fingers.  We were calling them legs!   Right.  I took a break for about a week from writing this and all kinds of sense just fell right out of my brain in the mean time it seems.  

Actually, maybe I wasn't calling them anything at all.  I don't know.  But, basically, I'd been told or read ahead of time to break the race up into parts.  And as the Chicago course was laid out there was 1. The first bit downtown, 2.  The second bit where you go way north and then come back, 3 The third bit where you go west for awhile and then come back  4.  The second out and back west bit (that I forgot about) and 4.  The last part where you go south for awhile and then, basically run back to the start line.  So yeah.  Anyway.  5 legs of the race.  Or parts.  Whatever.

At about mile 20 we were on to part number 5.  Those last 6 (ish) miles.

Oh. Yeeeeah.

Things were about to get to a whole other kind of interesting.  It's all kind of blurry, actually now.

Somewhere in there, we went through China Town.  I'd heard it might be kind of desserted either right before it or during it or after, or something, crowd wise.  I don't know.  It really wasn't.  I died down a little for awhile.  But I was distracted by wanting bananas at those aid stations and the uneven crappy pot hole filled pavement in areas.  I don't remember if that as before or after China town. China Town, if you're wondering, did actually smell like Chinese food, but everyone and everything around me was generally pretty smelly by then so I didn't really notice much.  The crowds were thinner there, but still pretty good.  There was music too, and even one of those big dragon things that dancers work.  

Then there was also a long stretch where I guess we were headed back towards the lake (so.... East-ish?) parallel to another freeway or highway or something.  I think we were probably at like mile 23 or so at this point.  I was making good time still, holding steady around my 13:00 mile when I decided that another pit stop was in order.  Strangely, that was probably the cleanest porta potty I've ever seen in my life.  

When I jumped off the course to use the facilities I overheard the conversations at the medical tent.  People were moaning and whining and sounding like perhaps they wanted to die.  Some guy was begging an EMT or a masseuse or somebody to stretch his cramping legs out. It all seemed so strange to me because I felt.... fine.  My feet hurt.  I was stiff and kind of sore, but, otherwise fine.  I didn't want to fall over.  I didn't want to quit.  I wanted to hurry up and be DONE already, but otherwise, I was good.  Did all these other people, these other slowbees in the back of the pack with me, did they NOT train at all?  I mean.... I don't even know.  

I am generally a total wuss.  But I was fine on that day.  And all around me on the course people were waddle walking and falling over and moaning and suffering.  And I was still, just.... fine.

Weird.

All of that last bit became important and especially poignant to me after I made my potty-stop because I had to go ahead and spend the next mile or so re-passing everyone I'd just spent the previous couple of miles passing.  It was weird.

Anyway.  FINALLY, we crossed over the freeway on a bridge and entered another college looking area.  We wove through it for awhile  There were a bunch of photographers set up. It was almost like we were getting close to the end.  

(All of these photos aren't from that end-ish stretch at mile 23 or 24, but I don't know exactly where the rest of these were taken so here they all are now.)

This one is definitely at mile 24 or so, right before we made our final BIG turn onto Michigan Avenue to head back towards the start which also happened to be the FINISH.

So... we came out of that area of college-ish-ness and turned our way back on to Michigan Avenue.  

Except see, if you think of Michigan Avenue you probably think of the part where it is downtown.

We were not downtown.  Not yet.

Not even close.

Downtown was straight ahead of us, at the other end of the longest straight away ever a good 2 mile stretch of road.  It may very well have been another 20 miles away for all I knew.  

We could see it, but it was waaaaaay far away.  All those big impressive Chicago skyscrappers looked teeny tiny.

*sigh*

I kept running.

Don't think anymore.

Just go forward.

You haven't stopped yet

so

DON'T STOP NOW.

Yes, it really does look ridiculously far away.  Yes, they really might keep moving it further away from you, even while you are running towards it.  Or, maybe you are moving in slow motion.  Backwards even?  Who could even tell anymore!!

What was that stadium labelled Illinois Tech?  Is that even a thing?

Goodness, look at that building over there with about 80 uninterested people crowded out on the porch?  I wonder if that's an insane asylum or a special care home?  How nice that they came out to support us even though it is so obvious none of the could give a flip about the random people running by.

(Don't feel bad random people, at this point, I'm not even sure I give a flip and I am one of those runners!)

RUNNERS.  Goodness me, WHY is everybody around me walking?  Honestly.  

The crowd on the course was noticable thin now.  We were spaced out further now than we'd been so far on the course.  We had a whole city street wide, 4 or 5 lanes at least but there were only a random few dozen of us in any given space of probably 20 feet along the race course.

WHY WAS I ONE OF THE ONLY ONES RUNNING??

I was passing almost everyone.  Slow as crap me, was moving faster than almost everybody?!?! What on Earth?

I found myself wondering what corrals these people had started in?  How may of them had gone out way too fast and were suffering now because of it?  

And so I wasn't the only one running, but seriously the vast majority of folks were walking now.  It had been like that for awhile actually....

We passed another aid station.  It was one of the last ones.  I still hadn't touched my bottles.  They'd been just for security and peace of mind just as I'd planned.  That was nice.  I took a couple more drinks from the cups and moved on.  I hadn't even slowed to a walk this time.  I was so close.

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally, I got to the mile 25 sign.

Goodness.

Waaaay ahead of me I could see the tiny far away version of a big jumbo-tron style screen.  That screen was at the mile 26 mark where we'd finally turn right off Michigan Avenue, to go up the little hill a tenth of a mile into the park (Mount Roosevelt, because it's arguable the biggest uphill incline on the course) and then turn left and then down the shoot to the end.

My God.  My sweet God.  Lord almighty.  That screen was so unbelievably far away.  Just keep going.  Thump.  Thump.  Thump.  My feet pounded on the street.  Pant. Pant.  Ugh.  Man was I ever breathing unnecessarily loud.  I turned up my music to make it so  didn't have to hear m self sound so annoying.

A TNT coach in his green jersey fell into step with me again as I passed the 25.2 (one mile to go marker.)  I couldn't remember if I'd seen him before.  He started talking cheerfully to me.  I was having a hard time listening.  I felt fine.  I did.  Still.  Really.  But I was pretty much laser focusing on that jumbo tron way ahead of me, so he wasn't exactly getting through.

We had the regular conversation about my still feeling fine.  I smiled.  I told him I'd run this whole thing.  I couldn't believe it actually.  I was almost there.

He looked at me seriously and put his hand on my shoulder and asked if he could tell me something. I agreed because, really what else was I going to do?  I wasn't going to be able to speed up and lose him at that point.  He said "You, Jennifer, are less than a mile from finishing your first marathon.  You've done it!"  

I'm positive I told him, "Not yet, actually, but almost."  I smiled at him.  

He laughed and said, "And you know what's even better?  As amazing as your accomplishment is, you did this with a a higher purpose!  You did this for a cause!"

Then he told me to slow down at the finish and really take it all in.  I thought, Okay. Sure.  I'll do that.  IF I EVER GET THERE.

He went away again soon after that. I think he realized I didn't need him then.  I didn't.  Nothing was going to stop me.  Somebody could have blown a hurricane across all of downtown Chicago right then and I wouldn't have stopped.  I had been picturing myself crossing that finish line for a good 5 and a half hours already, there was no freaking way I was stopping now until I got there.

I thought about Matt's Dad.  Lost so young, to cancer.  Was he watching me now?  

I thought about Matt's cousin Savannah.  She's in remission now, but still, did any of my last nearly 26 miles even compare to what she'd endured?

I thought about Ben.  So young.  So sweet, and innocent and kind.  I love him and his mom and his whole family.  Yes.  Definitely, all of it had been worth it for him. He didn't deserve to get cancer.  I couldn't fix that for him, but I could honor him.  I hoped I was honoring him.

But the end was still SO far away.

Honestly.

People have said all kind of things to me about marathons.  It's a 20 mile run and a 6 mile race!  It's just two halfs!  Just take it one 5K at a time....

But honestly, for me.... it was a 25 mile run, followed by one last mile that might have lasted for another good 25 miles.

I can't help but wonder if "fast" runners feel this way.  When it takes you 12-14 minutes to run each mile, I just feel like some how that's different when you do that times 26 than when you only need 8-10 minutes per mile.

Maybe one is about endurance... and the other is about strength? I don't know.  Maybe perseverance? Which is harder running fast for less time or running slow for one hell of a lot more time?

I was in my head, listening to my music and pondering this nonsense, seriously wondering why or how the actual hell this last mile had SO CLEARLY been mismeasured when suddenly there was Allison again!  She came running out into the street towards me again all giddy and shrill and hilarious.  "Didn't you hear me screaming?" She asked.

"Uh no."  I laughed.  "But I'm almost there!"  I tried to tell her cheerfully.  I was feeling cheerful.  I was.  But also, I'm kind of trying to just finish this thing, I thought to myself.

But I was so glad to have seen her again.  I wondered where Dave was.  I'm sure I must have seen him again too, but it didn't register clearly enough with me to get that information all the way up to my brain.

There might have been another aid station.  There was probably another coach who just sort of waved at me.

But then finally, suddenly, there was that screen.  It was just a block away.  I could ACTUALLY see it.

Wow.

This was it.

I made it to that sign and made the turn.  The "hill" ahead of me didn't look so bad after all.  Not compared to my So-Cal hills.  I ran up it.  I noticed a nurse on the side of the course.  I don't know why I noticed her or how I knew she was a nurse (maybe she had a sign?) but I spent a good part of that hill noticing her.  And reminding myself to keep breathing.  I was starting to cry and well, crying and sobbing make breathing, and therefore running, pretty tough.

Suck it up.  You can cry in a minute when you're done.

I made the last turn.

Hot DAMN why is that finish line STILL so far away?!?!?!

I was probably a couple hundred yards.  Maybe.  If that.  It seemed like more.  Everything was orange and red.  I think maybe they had the sides of this last bit of the course lined with orange paper or something.  Or maybe there was something on the road?  Maybe it was brick.  My brain just remembers orange and red.  I noticed there was a big set of bleachers on my right side.  There were only about 8 people still sitting in them.  No big crowds for the likes of me. But I didn't care.

I took my sunglasses off and put them on my hat.  I didn't want them on my face for the finisher's photo, even though I always get awful photos where you can't even see my face anyway.

It was getting close now.  Spread out folks, let's not crowd each other.  Let's have our moment.  Do this thing right....

We went over the chip reader a couple yards ahead of the actual end.  The lady announcing read my name.  How sweet.  But don't stop.  Not yet.  Not until you go under the big arch.

Oh heck.

Here it is.

Throw your arms up woman.  This is it.

You did it.

Done.  

Wow.

I didn't actually cry as it turned out.  I felt glad and joyful and proud and stuff, but I think maybe I was too tired and too full of disbelief at what I'd just done to have any real sort of emotional response. 

I guess I stopped running then.  I don't really remember.  Eventually I think I reminded myself to turn off my watch too.  

We all just shuffled forward.  Ahead of us there were crowds of volunteers.  They gave us our medals.  I remember trying to remind myself to be patient and not push and shove.  I made myself go past the first or second person to avoid the line and keep things moving.  Then finally I had mine.  I probably could have hugged the lady who gave it to me.  Except that would have meant lifting up my arms and using more energy.  I wasn't sure I could.

She told me congratulations.  I thanked her.  It felt weird.  

We all shuffled forward some more.  The finisher's exit shoot was really long.  I mean, not as long as that last mile had been, maybe, but close probably.  Some people gave us those vinyl heat blankets.  It was pretty cold, actually, now that we were standing still.  Somebody else gave us some tape to hold the thing around us to free up our hands.  Then came Gatorade, and water and power bars and a bag of snacks.  I just kept letting people hand me stuff and I didn't really want any of it.  

Then, I saw it.  Beer.  I'd been promised by my friends who'd run this event before that the beer would be basically right after my medal.  Where was the beer.  I wanted that beer.

Oh yeah.  I got my beer.

I like beer.

Hahah.

As we came to the end of the finisher's shoot I dug out my phone and asked a volunteer to get my photo with the city in the background.  As he was trying to take it, I kept getting text messages from my friends who'd received word I'd finished.  Wow.

I went and had them take an official finisher's photo.

Really this is only interesting because I had to put down all my treats and take off my nice warm plastic blanket cape and this also seemed like a lot of effort.

I texted Dave and Allison.  They were trying to meet me by the big fountain but as non-runners they couldn't get in.  They said they'd go to my hotel and wait for me.  I told them I'd head that way as fast as I could.  (Which was even slower than I'd ran the race.  LOL.)

Over at the fountain, they had photographers taking the picture I wanted.  That fountain is on the medal.  Seemed appropriate and necessary.

That might be my favorite photo ever.

After that I headed back to my hotel.  I knew it was important to walk it out after a long run, and really, I didn't have another option to get back to my hotel anyway.  I cut through the expanse of the post race party and then walked back through the tunnel where we'd started hours earlier.  Making my way up the stairs on the other side was.... interesting, and painful.  My knees were stiff.  My hips were stiff.  My right achilles was kind of snapping every few steps.  Somebody asked me why on Earth I wasn't on the elevator.  I wondered where on Earth there was an elevator.

I hobbled my way over to the other TNT hotel to check in with our administrators to let them know I was done.  I collected my finisher's pin and thanked them all for a great season and then I made my way another 3 or 4 blocks to the lobby of my own hotel.  There I found my friends waiting for me with another beer.

Aw, good friends.

It had been an amazing day.  An amazing experience.



People, keep asking me if I'll do another one.  And I think I could, for sure.  It is hard to say, honestly, and it's isn't so much about the training time and the commitment or how hard it is at all.

Honestly, the thing is this:

I had my most perfect marathon experience in Chicago.  The race was AMAZING.  The weather was perfect.  The crowds were perfect.  The course was perfect.  The city was perfect.  My friends came to see me THREE times on course and that was amazing!

My pace, while slow, came in VERY close to what I wanted.  If it hadn't been for those 2 bathroom stops, I really would have come in at 5 hours and 45 minutes (or less) rather than the 5 hours 50 minutes and 49 seconds that I did.

But I don't care about my time.  It felt good.  It did.  It was hard, sure, but at no point did it absolutely suck.  At no point did I doubt I'd finish.  I ran the whole freaking thing, except for aid stations, which is exactly what I hoped to do.

I was slow, sure, but I skipped basically ALL my speed work outs, and I was the slow "speed" that I was aiming for.

I finished the distance, and really, that was all I wanted.

It was perfect.  All of it.  Better than I ever imagined.

If I do another Marathon some day, how am I ever going to top that?

Honestly.


So I don't know.

But I sure am glad I did this one.  :)

My Trip to Chicago for the MARATHON!! (Part 1- Everything Before the Race)

As much as it was hard to believe, last week it was time for me to head to Chicago for my long awaited marathon.

Boy was I nervous.

On the plus side, I taught all day on Wednesday, and after school A.J. had dance and it honestly wasn't until the kids were all finally in bed, sometime after 8 pm that I even thought about packing. One sure way to make it so that you don't stress out too much about a trip (or a 26.2 mile run) ahead of time is to go ahead and be insanely busy basically right up until you leave.

Anyway, I got a couple suitcases packed.  Although, once I got there I realized I didn't bring nearly enough warm clothes because really all I was thinking about was my running stuff and making sure I had all the proper stuff plus options to accommodate the weather possibilities.  Whatever.  I was cold a lot while I was exploring the city, but I got through it.  Also, it was about 90 degrees the day before I left California.  While I did bring a couple pairs of long jeans and some sweatshirts, as I packed my bags it had been SO hot still I couldn't even imagine putting such warm clothes on.  

THURSDAY OCT 9

I was on my way before the sun.  I left my house about 4:30 for the airport.  I kissed the kids goodbye while they were still sleeping and really, it was excruciating.  I've never left them before over night (other than to be in the hospital to have their siblings) and leaving them while they are all sweet and adorable sleeping in their bed made me cry.  It's ridiculous, actually, because I've been desperate to take a nice break and get away from them all for awhile for, literally, years now, but when I finally got the chance I didn't want to go.  In retrospect, planning my first ever extended trip away to be 6 days and 5 nights might have been a bit extreme.

Anyway, despite the insane under-construction-so -you-can't-really-get-there-from-anywhere status of our regular long term airport parking, I made it to my flight, got checked in and made my flight fairly easily.  I had a direct flight, so after just about 4 hours after my plane had taken off, I arrived in the Windy City.  

All I could think was that if I was lucky, on Sunday, after 4 hours, I would be more than half way done running.

(Sometimes, being a slow runner is really ridiculous.)

So my friend Allison met me at the airport.  We got my checked bag and headed back to her place. We spent the rest of our day hanging out and catching up.  After her husband got home from work, we enjoyed some drinks and I relaxed and had a great night.  It was weird to be there with their children and away from my own, but I mostly got over it.  One of the main reasons I ended up choosing this particular race was the opportunity to see those friends again.  This was a very good choice.

Sometimes people say that you can tell who your best friends are based on how involved they are in your life and if you see an talk to them "all the time."  Personally, while I think this is a great ideal, I don't think it's really practical.  In my experience, the people who are my best friends are the ones who I was close with in that sense awhile ago, but since then we've been separated by circumstances (mostly the military.)  And even though we no longer see each other all the time and talk frequently, when we DO reconnect, we pick back up right where we left off.  You'd never know it has been a few years.  

I love my friends like that.

FRIDAY OCT 10

My friends' children were off school for the long Columbus Day weekend so we all slept in.  When eventually we got ourselves together we dropped the kids off at their Grandparents house and Allison and I headed into the City.  She was going to to take me to the Expo to pick up my race bib and packet, then we'd get lunch before she dropped me off at my hotel.  

She had the Navy Ball to attend with her husband, and I wanted some time to myself to explore the city and RELAX.

They live right outside the edges of the actual Chicago city lines, so really, it was a fairly quick drive in.  I got all excited as I saw the skyline getting closer ahead of us.

We arrived at the convention center place for the Expo only a couple of hours after it opened.  I really wanted to skip the insanity and the crowds as much as possible.  Over 50,000 people were expected to run, and the Expo was surely going to be insane as it got closer to the event.  Earlier and easier sure seemed better to me.

When we found our way to the entrance, I had Allison take this picture of me.  Hahah.

As if.  I will never ever be anywhere close to that fast.

 So we got my bib and we found my packet with my shirt and stuff.  Then we checked out a couple vendors until I found an event jacket that I liked.  Finally we took this picture in front of the awesome light up graphic they had of the course map.

If you're wondering, at this point I was excited but super scared.  Nothing in my brain believed I was actually going to finish.
My last run, the previous Saturday had been only 8 miles, but with hills and in killer heat.  I finished that, but walked a lot of it and also, every minute of it stunk.  Surely not the way you want to feel a week before your event.

With my official business taken care of, Allison and I grabbed some pasta and salads for lunch and then she took me to my hotel.  On the way I saw the stadium where the White Sox play and found Lake Michigan (LOL, that sounds so dumb, except it really did catch me off guard.  I had no idea we were so close to downtown or the water until literally, I turned my head and noticed we were driving right next to it.)  Allison pointed out the Aquarium and a famous museum or two.  I stared off at the Sears (Willis) Tower and the other tall buildings and got all excited.

Then she dropped me off outside my hotel and took off back to her own business.

I got myself checked in, found my room, unpacked a bit and tried to relax.

My gosh, but who could relax?  There was a whole city out there calling me? And the shopping! Michigan Avenue was literally two blocks away.  Not that I had any money to spend, BUT STILL.

I called Matt to check in.  He and the kids were fine, of course, so he urged me to take a nap or a shower or something and try to relax.  If I did go exploring, he told me to try not to walk too much and tire out my legs.

As if.

I sat back on my bed and flipped through shows on the TV for a bit.  This was nuts.  There was no way.

I put my shoes back on, grabbed my camera and took off.

The weather was predicting rain on and off.  Not like, it was going to rain on and off, but they were predicting it for the race one minute and then changing their mind the next.  I'd forgotten to pack rain gear trash bags, or crappy sweats to throw away (other than an old jacket) so I decided that I would go out to look for some.

I got some directions for the concierge and took off.

I headed towards Michigan Avenue, stopping at a few convenience stores.  Nothing seemed worth it yet, with the weather still so unpredictable, so I kept not getting anything.   When I got to the main drag of Michigan Avenue a million glorious shops surrounded me in every direction.  But I couldn't think of a single one that I really wanted to go in.  I stopped and pulled out my phone to search.  I considered the towers.  I didn't know which was which, which one had used to be the famous Sears Tower, how much they cost nor even how to get there.  Visiting one seemed like fun, but I wasn't finding what I wanted on my phone easily so I gave that up for awhile.  I found myself standing next to a sign giving directions to the Navy Pier so I went that way instead.

I walked for a while and before long I was there.

Hmm.  It seemed kind of interesting from far away, but now that I was there I didn't know what to do. I started walking along the one side.  There were people selling boat tours out in the lake and down the river that seemed fun, but they were expensive.  I didn't want to spend that much money on something I'd be doing by myself, so I kept walking.  

Eventually, I reached a point where I cold get somebody to take this photo of me with the South(ish)side of the city behind me.  

The start line (and finish line actually too) is somewhere close-ish to the shore just behind me.  I'm not entirely sure where exactly because I'm not familiar enough with the landmarks and famous buildings, but we definitely started someplace south of the pier over there.  And actually, knowing how far we walked in our start corrals after we lined up, BEFORE we started, for all I know, that entire greenish, tree lined area was the start/finish area.

Anyway....

So I kept walking around the outside of the pier.  It was all under construction because I guess they're redoing to whole thing.  This made it hard to see what there was and also, it was early afternoon on a Thursday so the place was hardly jumping.

As I crossed over onto the north side of the pier I had this view.

I wasn't sure which tower that was at the time.  But it seemed close.  I started to think I should walk over there later....

I checked out the little amusement park area first though.

The giant ferris wheel looked fun, but it was $7 to ride and again, wasn't something I really felt like doing by myself.

I went inside the building at last and found this cool greenhouse.

I skipped the shops below mostly because, they didn't seem all that exciting to me, and headed outside again.  I found a bench and sat down and studied this fountain for a moment while I planed my next move.

Well, dang it, I was just going to try to go to that tower.  I didn't know which one it was but eventually my phone told me it was the Hancock Tower and it was about a 20 minute walk from where I was.  By that time it might have been all of about 2pm, so I figured, what the heck?

I headed away from the Lake again, zig-zagging city blocks until I hit Michigan Avenue again.  Then I passed he Nike Store, The Disney Store, a Macy's and the American Girl Store.  I wished like heck A.J. was there so I could take here in there with me.  

After another block I spotted this, um, building or church or something which I recognize from My Best Friend's Wedding.  Julia Roberts drives past it as she's chasing the guy down Michigan Avenue towards the end of the movie.  Gosh I love that one.  Maybe I will watch it tonight.

Right after that they wind up at the Train Station.  I never found (or noticed) that big station, but I kept wondering where it was.

And then I noticed I had almost reached my destination.

So, okay.  Like I said, apparently this was the Hancock tower.  And it wasn't the former Sears Tower. That was deeper downtown and several more blocks away.  (Darn.)  No matter.  The line to buy a ticket was short and my military dependent's ID card got me mine for 50% off so it was only $9.

Also, since this one was on Michigan Avenue, I got an awesome view of the Navy Pier (where I'd just been) as well as the first part of the marathon course.  I could even see my own hotel!

The Navy Pier.  Not sure what that area to the left of it is now.  

Looking South, towards the river and Grant Park where the race would start and end.  

There I am.  96 floors above Chicago.

Looking South some more. You can vaguely see the river running left to right through the middle of the photo and my hotel barely visible in the bottom left of the photo.  (I think. Its hard to remember now actually.) 

"Zooming In"  The green start line is barely visible just to the right of the tall building in the center.  It was already all blocked off by that point, even though the race was still a couple days away.  

Looking southeast.  There's the Sears/Willis Tower way in the background.  Not sure what that other tall one is.  And actually, apparently we ran like RIGHT by it during the race, but I don't actually know this.  I guess I wasn't paying attention.  More about that later though....

Looking north up the coast of the Lake.  We went a good 4 or maybe 5 miles that way, but we went inland a bit first so I don't know when we got close to the Lake exactly.  At one point, I think I remember seeing it acorss the freeway we were running alongside, but I'm not entirely sure when that was.  Somewhere around Lincoln Park, maybe near a college of something.   Maybe 5 or 6 miles in.  Maybe....  Again.  more on that later.

Eventually, the novelty of staring down at the city wore off so I went back down and started heading towards my hotel.  I stopped in several shops along the way.  When I got back, I called Matt again and then decided I was hungry and needed to find dinner.

As it happened there was the American version of my favorite Korean (Japanese) BBQ restaurant less than a block from my hotel.  I was nervous to go there alone (something that doesn't normally bother me, but I was unsure about the portion sizes) and also whether it wold be as good as it was in Japan.

When we lived in Japan the only American locations were in LA, and maybe like New York.  Now they have spread out more and they actually just opened up one not far from here in San Diego.  Matt and I haven't been yet, but after the meal I had in Chicago, I can promise you, we'll be going ourselves soon!

It was every bit as delicious as it was when we were in Japan, only with the added bonus of being able to actually ready the menu and not just guess about what you are ordering from the pictures. Also, the ability to get cooking instructions from the server was nice. Haha.  We ate there ALL the time when we lived in Japan, but I can promise you that even though we always managed to enjoy our meal, we never really knew for sure what we were ordering aside from the fact that we were getting beer, rice and different cuts of Beef.

The best part was, it was a carb heavy race-week meal, but not entirely pasta.  You can only eat so much pasta before you get sick of it.  Also, to be honest, I just wanted vegies and the protein!

After dinner, down in the lobby lounge of my hotel there was a meet and greet for Team in Training Flex people.  Even though I had spent the enitre summer running with our local Chapter (we had 12 or 13 people from San Diego running Chicago) really we were all signed up as Flex runners which means we were supposed to be following an online training plan and doing a lot of the runs by ourselves.  (So glad this wasn't the case for me!)  Anyway, so once we all started arriving in Chi-town, we needed to finally meet our team mates.

Photo Credit to Krystle Gervais)

It was especially nice to meet my Official-Flex mentor Emily.  I Facebooked with her through out the season, but in person was nicer.  Also, for whatever reason, that evening while I was trying to enjoy a nice reasonable (second) beer for the evening (carb loading and relaxation and all that) they were giving out shots of Absolut and Cosmos.  Um.   Well, okay, if you insist.  

(Photo Credit to Emily Hampton)

SATURDAY OCT 11

In the morning, at 8, many of us met in the lobby for a short-shake -out-the-nerves run with the coaches.  

To be honest, I was 100% sure about this one.  I had walked the day before.  My legs felt fine.  I had met a lot of my team mates already.  But I was NERVOUS.  Crazy nervous.  That last crappy run in San Diego was stuck in my mind.  The importance of the cause was stuck in my mind.  An absolute fear of failure.... not just personally, but on behalf of every person who donated to LLS on my behalf was overwhelming.  As bad as it would be to fail and let myself down, it would be worse to let everyone else down.  I wanted to make my honored patients proud.  I did.  But as much as I loved having backing throughout training, it now just felt like pressure to succeed and I was terrified of letting everyone down.  The very last thing I wanted to do that morning was try running again the day before my big event.

But I couldn't sleep well anyway, so I got up, threw on some running clothes similar to what I hopped to wear during the race (to see if they were comfortable in the weather) and headed downstairs. The coaches and other people were milling about chatting and I started to calm down.  We took some pictures and did a team cheer and headed out.

Go Team!  Cheer.  That's my hand behind the girl with the teal head band.  It  kind of looks like I'm pointing.
 I always wind up on the outside of these things because I have long arms and can still kind reach.
(Photo Credit to Joe English)

Pointing toward the start.  I'm in the way back again.  You can barely see my head popping up behind the ladies in blue on the left.  My face is kind of hidden by the lady in bright yellow's gloved hand.  I have my son glasses on and I wasn't really pointing because I was freezing.  (Photo Credit to Joe English)

Emily and I were running shoe-twinsies!
(Photo Credit to Emily Hampton)

The coaches, having run literally dozens of marathon new just what we needed to do.   He led us up the gentle hill (that felt humongous with my nerves) over the bridge across the river.  We went a huge the stairs (3 flights maybe? Who knew Chicago had so many levels?  Not me!  Are all big cities like this.)  This led us up to the main level street with hotel and business accesses while two levels below held bi-pass streets.  We went about two more blocks and stopped on a bridge looking down on the park and at the start line waiting for us below.

That's me in the middle in the long sleeved maroon top, huffing it up those steps.
(Photo Credit to Emily Hampton)

After about a half mile we came to be standing on another bridge.  We were standing on an overpass while below us was the street that the race began on.  We could see the start line a few hundred yards away.  The course, would start off by going under the street we were standing on.  We'd run through the tunnel below us, passing by the lower levels of the bi-passes and then cross the river for the first time and then head on into the city for a block or two before eventually cutting over onto Michigan Avenue.  We all stood there and pondered this information for a moment.  Then the coaches led us on some more over to where we would actually enter the park and starting line area on race day.

Once we saw that, he led us over to the Bean.  I'm still trying to figure out when the Bean became a thing.  I think the first time I heard of it was last spring or summer sometime when Dooce posted a photo of it after she took a trip to Chicago for something.  Except now that I just looked up that link, it turns out that was posted a couple of years ago.  So I don't know.  But over the last 4 or 5 months since I lost my mind and decided to run this marathon, it's popped up several more times on very places around the Internets so I guess I was mildly excited to see the thing first hand.

And then I did and I was kind of confused.

I thought it would be bigger.  Or that it sat in a bigger area or something.  

I don't know.

It was cool, but I found myself slightly underwhelmed.

Come to think of it, I was finding almost EVERYTHING about Chicago slightly underwhelming. What was wrong with me?  Either the nerves or the missing my children emotions were screwing with my ability to be a giddy tourist or something.

But.... then again... not that I am the worldliest of travelers.  I'm not.  I've never set one foot in Europe and I've only been to about half of the states in America.  I've never seen the Eiffel Tower or the Grand Canyon or the Tower of London.  I've never even been to New York City.  But I have been to Niagara Falls (and admittedly I was like 9 but that was COOL) and I've been to Tokyo (cool also but mostly chaotic.)  I've also been to Hong Kong and Thailand and Australia.  And see, when I saw the Sydney Opera House, well, now, that was exciting.  

Maybe it's because the Sydney Opera House has, to my knowledge, always been a thing.

Also, who on Earth ever thought I would make it to Australia.

But this Bean thing?  I didn't know I was supposed to be excited about it until recently.  The Sears (I mean Willis) Tower.  That made me excited.  I never ever made it down there to see it up close but I stared at it for a lot of miles during the race (more on that later) but seeing it felt important.  

This Bean.  Um.  Alright.  There it was.

Well, when in Rome I guess.  (Ooh, now ROME.  That would be cool!  The Coliseum! Right?!!)

First we took a couple pictures of our whole group.  I'm on the far right, middle row.

Serious. (Photo Credit to Joe English)

"Fun."  (Photo Credit  to Joe English)

Then bunch of us had fun taking pictures in front of it, and of our reflections in it and stuff.  

My gosh I do have freakishly long arms.  I really SHOULD have played basketball like I wanted MOM.
(Heaven help me that she never ever reads that.) (Photo Credit to Katelyn Sullivan)

Of course I had to do my semi-trademarked heel-click jump.  No idea why this is a thing I do a lot, but I do.  I remember learning to do these in tap class as a little kid and when we went to Disney with the band in high school we flags had a bunch of these in our routine and well, I just have loved doing these ever since.)  This whole summer of training I would periodically throw in a few of these before aid stations or something on our longer runs.

OMG.  I'm kind of a dork aren't I?  (Photo Credit to Emily Hampton)

Emily and I (and a bunch of other people from our group) took selfies in the mirrored side of the bean.  Haha.
(Photo Credit to Emily Hampton)

(Photo Credit to Joe English)

A picture of us taking a selfie picture.  How silly.  (Photo Credit to Joe English)

So that was fun.

Then we all ran back to the hotel.  I short 2 miles, with some fun in the middle, and that was that.

It seems silly, but those couple miles did WONDERS to ease my nerves.  My legs felt good.  I felt good.  Weird.

I went back to my hotel and got a bagel and some yogurt and an enormous cup of coffee at the shop in the lobby.  Then I grabbed my coat and headed back out again.  It held felt good running in a skirt and tank top once we were moving but it had been freezing before that.  I needed to find some sweats.

I looked up a Target not far from the bean and headed that way on foot.  It seemed silly to walk all that way again, but moving felt better good.  Sitting still made me feel nervous again.  It was cool, but lovely and sunny out and it was nice so long as I stayed out of the wind.

After I found the Target and purchased the world's most hideous blue sweatpants to toss in the morning after they'd served their purpose, I found the Old Marshall Field's Building, (*sigh*) and then eventually found myself back at the park.  I studied the Bean some more.

I just don't get it.

I had somebody take this picture that I posted on Facebook.

How cute am I?  Ha.

 On Facebook a TNT friend of mine pointed out that "It's so shiny!"

Well, there is that.  So I guess it IS cool.  Just, maybe my expectations were too high.

Another selfie in the Bean.  I tried to take one looking all confused but they
weren't turning out.  I wound up looking kind of
 dopey or kind of sad instead.  Darn it.

Meanwhile, back in California....
Matt and one of the ladies he works with who sometimes babysits our kids went to the San Diego Zoo.

Also, because sometimes timing is a bit ironic, Peter's teacher drew his name for him to be the Star of the Week.  I had to work hard not to be devastated about missing this for him.  I had already submitted his photo memory book, but I didn't get to help him with his poster or put together his daily activities (a guessing box, which he put a Lightening McQueen toy inside and an estimating box which he filled with 54 Duplo Legos and the kids were to try to guess the number.) 

I think it worked out okay.  Matt sat down with him on Sunday and they did his whole poster.  Peter drew all his pictures and filled in the spaces nicely.  If it had been me I likely would have done it for him and be a total crazy perfectionist, and honestly, it's cuter that he did it himself with help from his day.

The pictures he drew, if you are wondering are (left to right and then down by rows) 

1. himself  

2.  his family   

3.  his favorite place is the zoo (with a backwards z) 

4.  when he grows up he wants to be a zookeeper, again with a backwards z.  

5.  He likes to play with our dog  

6.  If he could have one wish he would get another dog.  

Awesome.  

Nice to know that through the weekend at least, Matt was holding things together at home nicely.  

Back in Chicago

Even though I'd kind of already been all over that morning, I still had a good while before I was meeting some friends from home for lunch at 1:30.

So, I had this idea to go to Build a Bear and make myself a friend.  Or a mascot.  Or something. Emily, my mentor and friend has a bear she calls Austin, since she lives in Austin, TX.  It's kind of adorable and wears a cowboy hat and jeans and little cowboy boots and carries a guitar.  I guess the Bear was originally a gift for her Uncle when he was in the hospital fighting cancer and they often had a good time with the bear, taking pictures of him various places, getting into trouble and having a good time.  After he lost his battle she was given the bear back and has continued Austin's adventures in honor of her Uncle.

The whole thing is kind of awesome.  

I don't have quite as much of a back story for mine, but I figured why not?  Let's be honest, my kids can always use another Teddy to snuggle and play with.  And also, this one can go with me to races and stuff, keep me company when I need it and cheer me on.  I bought her a little "I heart Chicago" tank top to wear, some sparkly pink leggings and a tutu skirt to wear, along with some running shoes. I almost always run in a tank top and skirt myself so it seemed fitting.  

Next month, when I go up to Disneyland to run the Avengers Half Marathon and I wear my Iron "Mom" outfit, I figure I can get my bear an Iron Man costume too.  :)

Oh, and I named her Roxie Heart.  Because Roxie is from Chicago and so is my bear.  Heeheehee.

(I'm like 8 years old maturity wise, I know.  Oh well.)

After that afternoon I met those friends for lunch.  I had a club sandwich and fries because I knew I was having pasta for dinner and I just couldn't make myself eat more of it then either.  When lunch was over I walked around some more.  It was getting colder and I was wished I had on pants (I was still in my running skirt from the morning) but I needed to keep moving.  Being still was too stressful.  

Eventually, it was time for our pre-race meeting.  I didn't really feel like going, but it was immediately before our Inspiration Dinner so I went ahead and went.  The coaches mostly went over race morning logistics about check in, security, and where they (and the other coaches) would be to provide support on the course.  Then they each told us a few horror stories about some of the worst marathon experiences.  (I'm not entirely sure these helped, but they were funny.

We took a couple group photos of our Flex Team again (there were 140-something of us, so many were still absent, but this was a good turn out anyway.)  

I got as close to Ryan as possible.  Haha.  

So then it was time for dinner.  All the TNT staffers and coaches were decked out in their finest purple and green.

Krystle was very serious.

Me with Roxie and Emily with Austin.  (Photo Credit Emily Hampton, or I guess technically
her husband took this, but in any case I found it on her Facebook page.)

 Dinner was good.  Pasta and bread and Salad.  I could have honestly eaten more but I'd been kind of starving for a a good week at that point.  (I'm still starving almost a week later actually too.)

They played videos and showed pictures of all the honored and remembered patients.  A couple people got up to tell their stories of survival, and fighting cancer and sometimes losing their loved ones.  The talked about all the money that was and is still being raised.  They talked about treatment advancements that have been made thanks to the dollars given and people who were directly affected by these new treatments came forward.  It was great.  It sure makes running a marathon less scary when when you are doing it for the greater greater good.

If you're wondering, I raised a total of $2556.20 sense this season.  A little more than 40 people made donations.  Some made donations twice.  In any case, I got a whopping $6.20 cents above my minimum fundraising goal.  I had hoped to stretch myself to $3000, but in the end, when I went over my minimum I kind of put fundraising on the back burner.  I guess it is my hope that I will be able to do another event soon and because I didn't get crazy with asking for donations too terribly much, many people will be willing to donate who did not yet, the next time, now that they see I really am serious about this and I do, actually, finish my races.  (God willing, this will continue.)

So... yeah.

Pretty much, once dinner was over, all that was left was to go back to my room and lay out my race gear.

If you're wondering about the "Run, Walk or Crawl" that was a direct result of my last training run in San Diego going horribly.  The entire time I ran those awful 8 miles 6 days earlier, I just kept telling myself to keep moving forward on race day, one way or the other.

I also kept praying Hail Mary's and a very loose (because I kept losing count and therefore my place) version of the Rosary.  Except sometimes I changed the end of the Hail Marys from "pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death" to "pray for us runners, now and at the hour of our race."  And then I'd giggle to myself like a ridiculous and silently apologize to God for being a teensy bit disrespectful.

Over and Over and Over I did this.

Somewhere along the way that morning I'd thought of Disney's "Meet the Robinsons" advice which is to just "Keep Moving Forward."  And that seemed like great advice also.  For always.

Thankfully, during the main event, my actual marathon, I never completely reached that level of gosh-I-want-to-fall-down straight up desperation.  I never got entirely prayerful and ridiculous.  It actually went, really quite well.

But, as I've said a lot in this post already, I'll talk about that more later.

:)

(Like in my next post.)