4 Months

Baby Girl,

Yesterday you were four months old.  Things have been so crazy with moving this month that the time has just flown by and I can't believe you are already another month old but here are some pictures of you recently.



You spend most of your time in your Bunny Swing.  Other than when we hold you, it is the only place you are happy for long.  I can't say I blame you, it looks pretty comfortable to me and I sort of wish they made these in grown up size.



Occassionally you do spend time in your crib.  You have fun playing in there for awhile while I'm putting away laundry or dealing with your brother.  It isn't until we actually try to get you to sleep in there that you become unhappy. 

Your Daddy likes to play with you and make you smile and laugh.  Here are some fun pictures I took of the two of you playing together the other day.


Father-Daughter fist bump.

  

Practicing standing tall.



Flying Baby!!!




Just chillin....



Look at how sweet you are!

Those eyes!  You must promise only to use them for good...

You still have troubles with your tummy sometimes.  Daddy does the colic hold better than anyone. 
I don't know what we are going to do without him....

Sometimes you like to play with your cousins.

You love your Uncle too. 
Now, if only your Auntie could come near you without causing you to start screaming....

Mommy must not have been thinking clearly when she ordered you a Bunny just like your brother's only pink.  Now I have 2 children addicted to these Bunnies.  Your brother is very sweet though, whenever he finds yours he insists on bringing it to you immediately.  :)

You're so adorable when you sleep.  Sweet dreams my angel.

I love you so so much dear sweet little girl.  Even though this is a tough time, you make me want to cherish every day and be thankful.

Facebook Comments and Cherished Friendships

Okay, so I know that I said I wouldn't be posting much, but this is just too good not to share.

On Sunday evening, while laying in bed trying desperately to stay calm, clear my brain and go to sleep despite the countdown that had suddenly started ticking off in my mind, I posted the following as my Facebook status:

If you need me, I'll be quietly teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown for the next 2 weeks at least.

These are the responses I received:

Rose:  Just come over the edge! Many of us are already there!! ♥

My sweet friend Rose, probably the first fellow military spouse I ever became friends with back when we lived in south Texas.  Her husband was in the Army until he retired recently.  She's dealt with multiple deployments to Iraq, in much more tumultuous times than these and she has two children of her own.  I know she knows exactly how I'm feeling right now, and it is really great to be reminded that somebody so very much like me has been exactly where I am now and made it through successfully.

Allison:  As Dave would tell me "You're a tough Navy wife, you'll be okay." Of course I always argue with him and whine about how I don't want to be a tough Navy wife, I'd rather be a soft civilian wife....

One of my closest friends and (obviously) a fellow Navy Wife, since our husbands served together on board the mighty USS Stethem, Allison cracks me up.  She also has 2 children and her hubby is deployed right now as well.

Terri:  Jen you make it through each one of these changes....you are so much stronger today then you were yesterday...I am positive that with God you will make it through this time as well and be stronger yet.

Matt's Mother.  She has the most unbelievable, seemingly unwavering faith.  I'm sure that I drive her crazy most of the time, since she certainly got more than she bargained for with me as her daughter-in-law.  It's nice knowing that she believes in me.

And then, there was this:

Katherine:  Jen, we pray for you all every night before bed. I ask Grace who we should pray for and she always says, "Peda" and "AJ". It broke my heart today, I asked her if she wanted to go to the park, and she said "Peda?", like asking if he could come too. I told her that Peter moved away and doesn't live here anymore. I wasn't so sure she understood, but then when we passed your house later in the day, she started waving and saying "Bye-bye Peda", "Bye-Bye AJ". :( I think she is finally realizing we haven't see you all in a while. So sad. We miss you!

Oh... Katherine!  I received this comment late Monday evening, reading it on my phone.  I'd been laying in bed again watching Matt sleep and trying to absorb as much of him as possible.  That sounds weird probably.  And "funny guys" out there might make a joke, but literally that was what I was doing.  Trying to memorize the pattern of his breathing.  The smell and softness of his skin.  His warmth.  Just, everything that makes him him. 
 
Then my phone buzzed and I rolled over and read this comment and I just lost it.  I was already so close to tears, this sweet comment easily pushed me over the edge. 
 
I'd thought I was "over" the sadness at having left behind our friends.  But this just brought it all rushing back.  Monterey was so good to us in so many ways, but mainly in the amazing people it brought into our life. 
 
Our neighbors, Dan, Katherine and their beautiful daughter Grace were such an amazing part of our lives while stationed at NPS.  They've appeared in this blog before many times, at Peter's first birthday party here, in October at the Pumpkin patch here, on Veteran's Day at My Museum here, when Matt graduated here, in some random pictures here, on Valentine's Day here and most recently just yesterday when I posted about the Supply Corps ball here.
 
I dreaded for months ahead of time that our moving meant we were going to separate Peter from his first friends, especially, our sweet neighbor Grace... Peter's first girlfriend.  :)  As our last weeks in California came and went, her mother and I got weepy a lot and took a lot of pictures of our sweet babies playing together. 
 
Here are some of our favorites.

Peter, caught on camera by Katherine

Grace, snapped by me

Peter asking Grace to join him in his ball tent

Playing in the balls together.

Building together with bristle blocks.

They look just like little Peanuts characters to me.  Sally and Linus perhaps.  Grace's Dad disagreed and had taken to calling them Pebbles and Bam Bam.  That makes me smile.

The two friends enjoyed many afternoons together at one of our neighborhood parks.  Of course, the two toddlers were just as likely to push each other and make one another scream as they were to play happily together.  And yet, whenever we passed her house, Peter would point earnestly asking for his friend and if we'd let him, he would climb up onto her front porch to pound on the door inviting her out to play with him.  And each time they'd play together, there would be sweet moments like these:



They were so sweet together.
 (Here they are comparing treasures collected at the playground.)



Peter was always willing to say goodbye with a friendly wave, and sometimes even gave a kiss or a hug.

My heart breaks to think about these two young friends separated by the military who are just too young to understand. 

The only consolation I can come up with is to remember that it was the military that brought us all together in the first place.  I feel better thanking God for placing these wonderful people in our lives, even if it was only for a too short time.

We miss you all so much.

Another Year, Another Navy Ball

One of the last things we had to do before PCSing out of Monterey was to attend this year's Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball.  We had been planning on moving a week earlier but it seemed nice to have one night out as grown ups before the chaos of moving and then deployment rolled in on us. 

I have to admit that for the first time pretty much EVER at one of these events my camera barely left my purse.  The photographer did a mini-photo shoot with just us and our friends (as we were the ones who hired her) and I decided to just trust in her skills, forget my obsessive need to take pictures for one night and just have fun.

I'm glad that I did.  It was a great night. 

And, forgetting the fact that I look like some sort of freakish giant person in ALL of these pictures (I wasn't even wearing THAT high of heels) I think the pictures are great and I'm happy to share them now that I have finally gotten them scanned.

Pretty standard navy formal/prom pose

Getting a bit sassy

Matt is making his "slick guy" face

With our dear friends, Patrick and Dawn

Dawn (plus almost 1) and I

Our Table...
 I was originally worried because we didn't know any of the people we were seated with,
but it worked out.  We had the best table of them all!!

Allow me now, please, to take a moment and thank the makers of what I have affectionately dubbed my "magic underwear."  I borrowed this dress last year to wear to the ball but was unhappy with the way my post-pregnancy #1 body looked in it and opted to wear something else.  But I love this dress.  And it matches this pair of shoes I have so perfectly and I really really wanted to wear it.  So this year, I didn't have any luck finding anything else to wear, although I was far more frightened by the things that pregnancy #2 had done to my body.  Thankfully though, after an afternoon in the intimates section at Macy's, having spent nearly as much money on undergarments as I might have on another entirely new dress, I felt confident enough to be able to wear this nearly fitted dress so long as all my wobbly post-second-baby-bits were secured beneath 20 pounds or so of my "magic underwear's" lycra and heavy spandex.

Don't get too excited people, I'm sure I'll be bringing back my signature A-lines and Empire waist gowns again soon. 

Meanwhile, while Matt and I enjoyed the ball, Peter and A.J. were back with our wonderful friends and neighbors, Dan, Katherine and their daughter Grace.  Here are some of the pictures they took while we were gone.

Peter "clinking" sippy cups with Grace before taking a drink.

Reading books to each other

A.J. falling sleep on the floor during her tummy time.

Grace looking after the baby.  :)

These photos represent just one of the many reasons why these friends were literally the best neighbors ever.  Not only did they take our two nightmare darling babies off our hands for the evening, but they even shared pictures to show us what went on.  We miss them so much already.

Patience Please

Okay, so, if you are one of the half dozen odd people out there who may or may not actually log on and read this blog occasionally, I would ask that you please bear with me.

Or that supposed to be "bare" with me?

I don't know.

As far as idioms go, that one confuses me.

Anyway.

We're pretty well moved in here.  Everything except for one small pile of assorted random items has found a home (just please do not look under the sink in my bathroom... trust me, it is in your best interest) and we are attempting to tie up a few more loose ends before Matt leaves us. 

Other than that, I am really trying to stay calm, keep my chin up and just enjoy the time together that we have left. 

Please notice I said that this is what I'm TRYING to do.  I make no guarantees that I am being successful.

And so if you haven't figured it out already, I probably won't be updating very much for a couple weeks.

Don't worry, I'm sure I'll have lots to write about (and plenty of pictures too) once this time is over.  With out Matt here, I don't actually know how I'll find the time to write, but I know that I'll need to do it more than ever probably.

Speaking Giraffe

So to review, Peter is very into animals and the noises they make.  He has been for quite some time.  He does a dog, cat, horse (and zebra) duck, monkey, mouse, elephant, lion, tiger, bear, dinosaur and most recently has added cow and a giraffe noises to his repertoire.

These days his dog pants and sometimes licks while his cat still just says "ow."  His horse (and zebra) blow a raspberry sort of how a horse neighs, and his duck says "duck duck duck."  (We figure this is close enough to quack to count and yes we probably are grading on a curve were points are given for effort too.)  His monkey scratches under his arms and goes "who who who," his mouse says "meep meep meep" and his elephant sort of saw "preeeeeew" and is accompanied by a little swooping chin lift like an elephant might actually make while trumpeting.  Lions, of course, say "Raaaaaaar" (as do Tigers, bears and dinosaurs oddly enough) and so then naturally his cow says "moo" except when he says it, it becomes more of a "oooo-ooooh"  instead.

And then of course there is the Giraffe.  A few weeks ago when my (old) neighbor was over with their daughter Peter was running through his sounds and when we got to Giraffe she seemed confused and admitted that she didn't know what noise a giraffe would make. 

And this is the part where Matt and I are up for parents of the year.

Because, if you remember that South Park Movie from a number of years ago, you'd remember that at the end the boys are supposed to make a noise like a dying giraffe if the plan goes wrong.  I don't remember the whole plot but apparently a dying Giraffe makes a sort of  "mwaugh mwaugh" sound because whenever things go awry for Stan and Kyle they're all "OH SHIT!  MWAUGH MWAUGH!"  and its like the funniest most random thing ever.

Or, at least it was back in like 2001 when they played that movie on comedy central on New Years Eve and, being the like, totally awesome party animals that we are, Matt and I sat home with some friends and watched and literally laughed hysterically at that moment.  Naturally, we were "mwaughing" randomly at the distressing moments in our lives for years afterward.

So, like I said, being that Matt and I are such wonderful parents, we always made the "mwaugh mwaugh" sound for Peter whenever we came across a giraffe.  And a few weeks back he started doing it too.  Only when he does it, it sounds more like "mwu mwu" but whatever, what was it I said earlier about the curve?

It's cute.  It's also hysterical, in, you know, a highly inappropriate way since it comes from such a highly inappropriate (for children especially) movie.

Why am I bringing up all this now?

Well, first of all, because the Fisher Price Lullaby and Lights soother on A.J.'s crib alternates between an image of a zebra and of a giraffe.  So just now A.J. was starting to fuss in her crib because she'd hidden her pacifier from herself again and her swaddle wasn't swaddely enough, or something and I went in to try to help her out before she became too upset and fully woke herself up.  The nightlight on the wall wasn't bright enough for me to search for the missing pacy so I switched on the soother.  The lights and music started up and I leaned over to retrieve the pacy and fix the blanket.

From behind me, Peter, who I'd assumed was still sleeping (but has a lovely habit of just chilling quietly in his crib while wide awake to enjoy his own pacifier and beloved Bunny) quietly said "mwuu mwuuuu."

I looked up at the ceiling and sure enough the lights were on the image of the giraffe.

I barely contained my giggles until I'd finished with his sister and had shut the door behind me on my way out of their room. 

STUFF!

OH MY GOSH, I AM LAYING IN MY OWN BED!!!

Sweet glorious bed that it is.

It's amazing how much everyones mood has improved with the arrival of our shipment!

Peter had a great day today.  He spent his morning toddling around in his pajamas as the movers carted in our belongings.  He was very excited to be reunited with his own toys.  A.J. cried a lot.  She had a rough night last night and honestly, accept for a few good solid naps, today wasn't much better, but then again being able to finally offer her some variety in her baby toys really seemed to help.

Our delivery went well, and pretty quickly, which was AWESOME though we learned the hard way that you should supervise those moving guys VERY VERY closely when they are reassembling your furniture.  (This is the first time I've not insisted on doing the reassembly myself, and I guess that just serves me right.)  Let's just say that immediately following their departure Matt and I took both cribs almost completely apart again in order to put them back together again CORRECTLY.

Then after lunch, once back in his own bed, (even amongst a room full of partially unpacked boxes and clutter) my son slept for a gloriously long 3 hour nap.  THAT'S MY BOY!  Because, seriously, if he was going to keep it up with the only napping 60-90 minutes each afternoon and then waking up several times throughout the night, and the being tired and cranky the rest of the time, I seriously thought I might lose it. 

Fingers crossed that he sleeps well tonight as well. 

He's in there now, out like a light. :)

So is his sister actually. :) :)  She had her bath and went down first.  Then she slept soundly through Peter's bath and stories only to awake screaming about 30 minutes later.  Matt got her before she could wake her brother and I nursed her and bravely put her back down in her crib.

Nothing like a move and having both children sleeping (or not) in the same room as you for a week to encourage you to cut the cord.  Haha.   Er, for now anyway.  There's no room for the glider rocker in the nursery with the two cribs so the big recliner is in the playroom and the glider is in my room, next to my bed, along with her swing.  I figure if/when she wakes up I can just bring her back to my room to nurse for now and then put her back down in the swing.  Don't want to risk waking the boy after all.  Long term, I hope to take her just down the hall to the playroom for feedings and then put her back in her crib, but that will need to wait until I am once again feeling confident that her brother won't be disturbed.  This whole thing with kiddos sharing a room sure is complicated!

Anyway, I'm exhausted and am really really looking forward to what I am praying will be the first good solid night's sleep I've had in about 2 weeks!

Baby Steps

After a full day of running errands around town all day, I am happy to I have the following good news to report:

1.  We found a pharmacy that can fill (compound) A.J.'s perscription and will pick up another month's worth of her medicine for Reflux tomorrow.  :)

2.  We found the Ikea today.  Peter had a grand time running through the store.  All we got today was a toddler table and chair set for him, but I am thrilled to know where it is located now.  That store is so much fun!

3.  Matt talked to the moving truck's driver and our shipment is coming tomorrow!!!  This means that tonight should be the LAST night sleeping on an air mattress and hopefully we will be able to get Peter into his own room again once his bed is here. 



"Aaand there was much rejoicing."


"Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah."

A Few Days In

Well, to be honest, things are looking up a bit.  I'm still not feeling great about this move, this living situation or this deployment, but hopefully, without a little more time that will come.  At least for the first two.  I don't know how I'm ever going to feel in any way okay about the deployment.

I still find myself occasionally crying silently to myself or on Matt's shoulder, for like, no discernible reason whatsoever, other than the fact that I am apparently no longer capable of handling change, but you know, it seems to be happening less and less. 

But yesterday was a pretty good day.  We ran a lot of errands and picked up  many of the inevitable list of ten zillion random items you ended up needing every time you move, no matter when or where you move or how carefully you pack and prepare beforehand.  In the late afternoon we went and had dinner with Matt's oldest friend (who is also  Peter's Godfather) and his family.  We LOVE them.  They are awesome.  Knowing that they live close was definitely a deciding factor for me in choosing to come here while Matt is deployed, as opposed to some of the other options.  We hung out and got caught up and ate the BEST Hawaiian BBQ food and drank and were just generally merry.  It was awesome.

Today was mostly good too.  The novelty of having Peter and A.J. here living with them is slowly starting to wear off for The Cousins.  Our dog and cats are even slowly starting to get some of their personal space back as well.  We did try to have Peter nap in his own room again (since his freak out the first night his pack and play has been in our room) and that started off great, until a combination of The rambunctious Cousins playing and a very, very, frightening diaper woke him up and then we just had the worst toddler, nightmare, meltdown of the year.  Or possibly the century.  I think he's definitely been living in a constant state of over-tired since we arrived.  He seems to manage only enough sleep for himself to barely function normally and is always teetering on the edge of having a meltdown. 

I think the unfamiliar surroundings, combined with a new routine, combined with a lack of 99% of his own belongings, combined with 3 AWESOME SUPER COOL bigger cousins who he wants to be like and play with 24 hours a day even though said awesome super cool bigger cousins are themselves torn between complete and utter fascination and an overwhelming case of mine-itis... just have him in complete overload.

It will be good tomorrow when the cousins go off to school for the majority of the day and we can be left here to settle in some sort of holding pattern at least until our belongings arrive and we can really make ourselves at home.

And please oh please let that happen sooner rather than later because I REALLY miss my own bed and my kid misses his toys and his own bed too and my goodness is nursing ever difficult on an air mattress at 4 am and for that matter it's great that my daughter has the Mercedes Bends of baby swings to sleep in for now (at least in my opinion, and while I'm drowning in the depths of a massive run on sentence anyway, might I just say THANK YOU Matt for approving that purchase when we first got here and also to Fisher Price and GOOD GOING by adding the a/c adaptor on the latest model so that we can save on batteries by just plugging the thing in) but it would, actually, be really nice if sometime before her first birthday she could learn to sleep in her crib but in order to make that happen it needs to actually get here.

Arrived

If you're wondering, we're here and we made it safely to Matt's older brother's family house in Washington.  The trip was pretty uneventful, though that is another post perhaps for another time. 

Peter is as well as can be expected.  He is excited to see his cousins and seems to want to be more of a big boy than ever before now that he is around some older children.  He barely slept in the car yesterday and was ridiculously exhausted by his bedtime yesterday.  He literally would not get in the tub for a bath (he was doing that thing a cat does to try staying out of the water- pushing away on the edge of the tub with both arms and both legs) so he went to bed in his new room last night without it.  I'd hope he'd be okay in there as he's slept fine in his pack and play since the movers started taking his things away, but last night we had no luck.  He crashed out for a little over an hour and then he started up crying because his diaper was dirty and once he started it was like he couldn't stop.  The cycle went on and on and on and on until well past midnight.  Even after a fresh diaper.  Even after a drink.  And lots of rocking.  And some TV.  Eventually I had Matt bring the whole pack and play back into what is now our room because it is fairly removed from the others and I could at least be sure his crying wouldn't wake the other children.

A.J. had a pretty terrible day and evening too because her medicine froze solid in the hotel refrigerator two nights ago night and ended up staying that way in the cooler until we arrived here yesterday afternoon and could get it into a proper refrigerator to thaw out.  One of the first things Matt did when we got here was go to the store to pick her up a swing like the one we had been using of our neighbors.  She loved that swing and happily, this one seems to do the trick as well, er... did, after she finally got some of her medicine.  It's just so hard to feel like you're doing right  by your tiny baby when you're in the middle of so much change and there are so many things to be done.

Matt is, well, Matt. 

The cats are wandering around, presumably, trying to adjust.  They are being endlessly stalked by my younger nephew and niece, which I'm sure will eventually cease but for the time being, is, simply, charming.

Brutus is well.  He's behaving himself and I'm quite pleased.  He's going to have to learn some new boundaries in this house, but then again, he now has more able hands around to pet him (as opposed to Peter who mostly tries to kiss him and pull his tail) so he has a lot to gain so long as he continues to be a good boy.

Meanwhile, I have to say this is much harder for me than I even expected it to be.  I'm sure it really doesn't help that in the past 4 nights I might have gotten in a grand total of 10 hours of sleep and I'm exhausted.  My SIL has done a great job toddler/baby-proofing the upstairs for us and clearing out too rooms for us as well, complete with fresh paint and everything, but I still find myself feeling very displaced and lost and homeless.  I'm sure this will pass, eventually, like in a few more days when some of our things (MY OWN BED) arrive but, still.  We are guests in this house and that is that.  It's going to be a big adjustment and once Matt leaves, nobody else around here is going to have time or energy to deal with my tears, drama and crap. 

I just our routine.  Our schedule.  Our place.  Our friends.  Our old lives.

I keep telling myself to suck it up and get to work.  I can make the best of this and get to work cleaning and organizing and parenting or I can mope and cry quietly into my pillow.  Guess which option seems more inviting right now?

I can't talk to Matt about it.  We chose this deployment and know that it is the best thing for him and our family long term.  I just wish the short term wasn't going to suck so much. 

I was given an unbelievably generous offer to come live here with my children and my pets for the duration and that is a huge blessing so I need to just stop feeling sorry for myself and move on.  Unfortunately, right around the time I convince myself to calm down and suck it up, I remember that he's leaving soon.  And, so, yea... there's that:  the prospect of an entire year without him.  So I start to cry again.

All of this is useless.  This post is useless.  This pity party is useless. Writing about this isn't going to help anymore than crying does.  I need to get up and make myself get going.  I need to just adapt.

So for now, if nothing else, we're here and we're all safe.

My Littlest Leprachaun

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!

Our Last Night Here

Oh Monterey.  I never even wanted to come here.  I wanted Matt to find another way to earn his master's degree, taking a shore assignment someplace and attend night school if need be because I wanted to stay in San Diego and I did not want to move again.

You hear stories all the time of people doing multiple consecutive tours in large fleet concentration areas like San Diego.  Yet for some reason we can never seem to make this happen.  Not that Matt has any trouble getting stationed there.  No, he's been there three times already and has everything all lined up to go there for a forth time after his trip to The Sandbox.  The trouble is he just always manages to get sent someplace between those tours.  He was enlisted there, then he went to Ohio for college, then Rhode Island and then Texas.  Then he hit San Diego again, before going to Georgia and then Japan.  Once again he went back to San Diego, only to next come here.  WHY he is so good at getting stationed there and yet he fails COMPLETELY at achieving the consecutive part is beyond me.  I guess that's just his luck.

Anyway, I didn't want to come here, but God had other plans.  And while I can't say that this has been our favorite duty station it certainly hasn't been the worst and I find that now that the time has come I really do not want to leave.

Probably, our positive experience here has not had anything to do with this geographical location aside from our, occasionally, enjoying the mild weather all winter long.

No, Monterey is going to be hard to say goodbye to tomorrow because, first of all, out kids were born here.  And because they were born here they had a FANTASTIC doctor deliver them at a FANTASTIC hospital, both of which I loved.  The other thing is, honestly, if we hadn't have come here, particularly if we had stayed in San Diego I don't think we would have had A.J. yet.  In San Diego I probably wouldn't have become a full time parent and the decision to pray for another child most likely would have been much delayed.  Having our second child here, so soon after the first was certainly motivated by the tremendous experience we had having our first, and also, of course, was because something is DEFINITELY in the water around here and it seems like 99% of the wives around here end up pregnant at some point in their tenure here.  The fact that I decided to do it all again, almost immediately is, of course, insane because I hated being pregnant with Peter, but not even like 10 minutes after he was born I started to see all the other Mommies-to-be and I began to feel desperate to be like all of them again. 

Also, this is the first place we've been stationed, besides Japan (which anybody will tell me ended up being quite a fun little adventure but overall was just not for me) where the vast majority of families live in housing.  I never thought this would be such a good thing, but oh my goodness is it ever.  Sure, there are many exceptions who don't live in housing, and the families here represent all 4 branches of the service (or 5 if you count The Marines as a separate entity from the Navy, which technically speaking, they are not) so not every spouse can completely relate to each other, but the simply glory of knowing you can trust your neighbors to understand the special stresses brought on by the general military lifestyle, well that's just AWESOME.

Honestly, I've never had too much trouble making at least a handful of great friends every place we've lived.  But here, well, the friendships I've made are truly some of the best.  I'm sure this is because we're all neighbors, for one, and can't really help but see each other ten zillion times a week.  And also, because like me, the friends I've made here have all ended up being military spouses with young kids.  These special women are the ladies who've helped me figure out how to be a parent.  I've trusted them to watch my precious babies.  Their kids have been my own kids' first friendships.

I guess what I'm getting at here is that I don't really mind leaving this PLACE but I really will miss the people. 

Sure, it was weird a few moments ago to take one last bath in my tub here and think about that first night we spent here and the first bath I took, literally bursting at the seams pregnant with Peter, and how I'd soaked in the warm water and day dreamed blissfully about all the adventures that were awaiting us in our new home. 
I can't help but smile as I think about the first night we spent here, sleeping on an old air mattress in the dining room.  The thing would barely hold enough air to keep my enormously pregnant butt suspended off the floor and by the morning, when Brutus woke us both up entirely too early barking at his own echo in the empty rooms, we both found ourselves on the floor anyway.  I remember lovingly setting up Peter's nursery and then eventually converting our guest room into a room for A.J., despite the fact that we knew she'd barely live here long enough to use it but doing it anyway because I NEEDED to feel like I was preparing for her arrival. 

Yes, this has been a good home for us.

And when we leave it tomorrow I'll be sad, for sure.  But I'll take with me my silly memories... the ones that I can't seem to stop writing about in this blog lately (despite the fact that surely no one out there but me wants to read about such nonsense) even as we leave this house behind. 

When we drive away though, and my tears start up a bit, they will be for my friends, many of whom have already left and the others who I know won't be here much longer either, but I am really going to hate to leave behind regardless.  Ladies, you know who you are, you have each helped me learn how to be a Mommy.  You loved my kids with me and I have loved yours.  Thank you for putting up with me and for everything else you've done for my family.  Keep in touch.   I love you all.

As for you Monterey, stay cool I guess.  Not like you could help it.  Har har.

Recess

Today was an interesting day. With the alarm clock unplugged and set aside, along with almost everything else from my room, I slept pretty late.  I think it was nearing 9:30 when Matt came in with Peter to take a shower.  A.J. was asleep in her bouncy chair, and Peter (already fed and fully dressed) crawled into bed with me for a few minutes to watch Sesame Street videos on my computer while Matt got himself ready.

Then he and Peter went out for the morning to pick up some things, get the van washed and detailed before our drive later this week and then to play at the fantastic Dennis the Menace Park one last time. 

While A.J. continued to nap I got myself dressed and then proceeded to move some stuff around for awhile as I tried to pack our bags and separate that stuff from the things the movers will be taking tomorrow.  Somewhere in there I noticed that there were already 2 overflowing baskets of dirty laundry.  Again.  I just did laundry on Sunday.

Because our laundry machines left yesterday.

Not to worry.  I had already spoken to my neighbor and friend, Dawn, up the street about possibly hanging at her house for the day since there were still supposed to be movers here this morning and so I texted her and asked if I could do some laundry there this morning too.  Thankfully she agreed so after I fed A.J. I strapped her into the baby bjorn and loaded the laundry into Peter's wagon to haul down the street to my friends house.

And let me just tell you all about how never in ten million years did I ever think I'd be using my kid's wagon to haul laundry around the neighborhood.

Anyway, while my laundry whirled around in the machine I went to my other friend Christie's house for a bit (because she lives across the street from Dawn) and also to chat some one last time and basically say goodbye. 

I can't stand how hard that is.  I never wanted to come here.  I never expected to make such good friends here.  God has certainly poured unbelievable blessings upon our family here, but I have no desire to keep living here.  Still, leaving is so so hard.

I guess good people really do make a difference in your life.

Eventually, Matt called to say that he and Peter were home and had picked up lunch.  Peter ate all but one nugget of a 4 piece happy meal, including all the fries and all the apples.  Wow.  I guess he was hungry from the park.  Then he went down for a nap and I went down the street and back a half dozen more times working on my loads of laundry while Matt took care of A.J. Somehow Matt had managed to come home from his morning's adventures with mud all over the seat of his jeans, so that basically added a load and the comforter off my bed simple refused to dry.

In the late afternoon we all walked Brutus, trying to race around the block before the fog completely rolled in and the temperature dropped a good 15 degrees.  Then we went back to Dawn's house to have dinner with her, her husband and son one last time.  They have also been very good friends to us here and we're really going to miss them. 

It was, all in all, a very good day.  Except for the saying Goodbyes.  That part stunk.

But today was like a calm in the middle of this moving storm I guess. 

I'm glad that we got this little break, because I'm sure tomorrow is going to be a whole other kind of adventure. 

Matt, by the way, was given clear directions about ensuring that I am up by 7:30 tomorrow morning, AGAIN.   I wonder if he will actually wake me this time.  Please dear Lord let it be BEFORE the movers are standing outside my bedroom door.

And, about that, I know that many of you are thinking one of two things:

1. Why doesn't she just set an alarm?

Our  alarm clock has already been pulled and set aside for the movers and even if I put it back I still have a nasty habit of turning it off in my sleep.  Matt is much better to wake up to at any rate, and generally has a much higher chance of successfully getting me to pry my eyes open.

2. If she has 2 small children, how on EARTH is she not up by 7:30 anyway?

Peter is an excellent sleeper and RARELY wakes before 8.  Often it is much closer to 9 even.  (This makes his Mama very very VERY proud.)  A.J., on the other hand, usually wakes up between 4 and 5 to eat but will then usually eventually go back to sleep until around 8 or so as well, assuming her reflux meds don't wear off.  Also, Matt is off from work right now, because duh, we're moving so he takes care of the kids in the mornings, letting me sleep as long as possible.  For this I am very grateful.  I detest early mornings.  And, since he is deploying very, very soon for a very, very long time, well, I'll take as much help and sleep as I can get from him NOW thankyouverymuch because soon I will no longer have that luxury.

Anyway, this whole last bit has just been a bit of a tangent now hasn't it?  Sorry about that.  Thought some people might like an explanation though. 

Until later then...

Pack Out Part 1

The first round of movers came today.  After spending a rather large amount of our time over the past 2 weeks sorting, separating and cleaning out our belongings, we were ready for them at about 10 pm last evening.  Our entire house (and lives of the past nearly 21 months) had been divided into piles and/or thrown or been given away.  Each pile, cabinet, shelf, closet or piece of furniture was labelled with either a yellow "YES" or a blue "NO" post it note.

Falling asleep was difficult for me again last night as I just worried endlessly that we didn't sort well enough. Or label well enough.  Or that we were putting the wrong things in storage.  Or not putting enough into storage.  Or that Peter was going to freak the heck out come the morning when he saw his entire life so far separated into piles.

Oh how I hope we put enough into storage, and that the things we are bringing will fit into the space Matt's older brother's family has so graciously allotted for us. 

Also for the record, Peter didn't freak out at all.  He mostly just tried to put some things into boxes.

At 4 something this morning I was up feeding A.J.  I distinctly remember staring at the clock pretty obsessively the entire time counting down the minutes until it would be 7:30 and I wanted to be getting my self and the kids up.  I wanted to shower and eat, secure the dog and the cats in the bathrooms and get myself and the kids the heck out of the way BEFORE the packers were set to arrive between 8:30 and 9.

Somehow Matt missed this memo.  He came into our room a 8:40-something and woke me up by telling me that SURPRISE the men were there.  I stumbled out of our room after him asking him what time it was and where was A.J. and was Peter up yet... expecting them to be downstairs still... and found the three lovely gentlemen standing on the landing waiting to meet me.

Awesome, because greeting packers without my glasses with which to see, while wearing my pajamas and a tremendous case of bed head was just what I had in mind. 

Matt didn't see why this was upsetting to me.

Anyway, approximately 30 minutes later I had myself dressed and had pried Peter out of his bed and away from his pacifier and bunny.  I'd texted our neighbors to tell them we'd be over soon (though they did know to expect us ahead of time) thrown Peter into some comfy clothes, and strapped A.J. to myself in the baby bjorn.  Matt had shoved a cup of coffee into the hand of mine that wasn't dragging Peter out the door with me and filled the diaper back with a sippy cup of milk for the boy and assorted snacky type food for us to munch on for breakfast. 

So we hung out at the neighbors all morning.

(Lucky them.)

Matt supervised the movers and watched Waterworld on his computer.  Why Waterworld?  I have NO idea, except he claims to never have seen it.  This doesn't seem like enough of a reason for watching it to me, since I've only heard terrible things about it, but then again I also don't generally pee standing up so his logic for why he does anything often escapes me.

Matt informed me that the cats meowed their protests loudly from the bathroom all morning.

Brutus whined and howled and cried the entire time from his as well.

The only interesting occurrence from the entire morning was when one of the lovely gentleman came in from working in the garage to ask Matt for some help.  Apparently, he had just completed boxing up my Halloween decorations and didn't know how to spell the name of the holiday in English so he couldn't write the items on the packing registry.  He apologized profusely to Matt confessing that though he'd lived in this country for over 15 years he didn't go to school here and had never learned to spell very well in English. 

How humbling for that poor sweet man to have to admit that to us.  But also, how honest of him and I must say I am impressed by his eagerness to ensure that his job was done properly and the registry made sense.  Also, I wonder what the Spanish is for Halloween?  Do they even really celebrate Halloween in Mexico or other Spanish speaking countries? I thought they just celebrated the Day of the Dead.  Is that the same thing?  If he'd just written Los Dias de las Muertos on the list, would we have been able to figure it out?

Anyway.

Shortly after lunch the guys were done.

I have no idea why they scheduled our pack out to take 2 full days when clearly 5 hours was more than sufficient. 

At least that meant Peter could take a nap in his own bed for another afternoon.

And now we are left to semi-camp ("semi" because we still have our beds, but nearly everything from the kitchen is gone except bottles and toddler sippy cups) out here until Wednesday when the other packers come to take our stuff to our new place. 

Fun times.

My Green Dog

Matt mowed the lawn today and by the time he was done Brutus had gone and run through all the fresh clippings and rolled around like a crazy beast and turned most of his paws and his underside all green.

It doesn't photograph very well, but it cracks us up every time it happens so here are some shots anyway.

Maybe he knows St. Patrick's Day is coming and he thinks he's Irish??

Baby Bird

Because we are incredibly educational around here and only concern ourselves with all things related to ensuring our childrens' excellerated learning and development, this is the signal Peter uses to tell us when he wants more of something.  That's right, none of that fancy baby sign language for us!  Why would we use it when he can just grunt and whine and open his mouth ridiculously wide until he gets what he wants?  Heck, it works for birds right?

Cheese!

I love this stage where they literally LOVE to smile for you. 

Brutus at Rest

This doesn't look comfortable to me, but then again the grass is usually pretty damp here.

(I don't have the heart to tell him this chair is going into storage next week.)

Insomnia, Tantrums and Balloons

What. A. Day.  Ugh!

And okay, but before I start, just a little warning:

This post is, like, literally going to be WAY too long.  I don't know why this always happens, but I am just completely incapable of cutting to the quick.  I guess I don't know how to edit.  Nobody has ever accused me of being concise.  And actually, back in college, several professors tried and failed to teach me how to edit my writing down and be more concise.  Forget them.  I like how I write.  And this is my blog, where I pour out my thoughts and memories, etc and if you don't like it how I ramble on and on and on, well, I'm sorry, but you don't have to read this now do you?  So consider yourself warned.  :)

Anyway.
Let me just start and admit that perhaps the reason that this day has seemed so very, very long is because last night I barely slept.  When I went to bed, like usual, I needed time to relax and decompress.  I spent some time perusing the Internet and Mommy-Blog-Hopping until my eyelids got droopy.  That was, conveniently when A.J. woke up hungry.  Let's say that was about midnight. 

By the time she was properly fed and burped and fed some more and changed and swaddled and back down in her little bed, I was wide awake again because my the worrying part of my mind had kicked in.

It started because I kept thinking how it stinks that I have to spend my time getting ready to move when I'd much rather spend my time with my precious babies whose time being precious is too short and precious as it is.  Peter, dare I say it, has already grown right out of his precious faze... but give me a minute, I'll get to that. 

For the next couple of hours I tossed and turned wondering about how everything with this move is going to work out.  I prayed and prayed about it (and everything else I could think of,) until I found that my requests were looping and repeating.  Then I laid there some more and stared up into the darkness making lists of things that need doing in my brain.  Also, A.J. wasn't having much luck going back to sleep herself, so I probably rolled back over and re tucked her swaddle or retrieved her pacifier a good 15 times.  Somehow she kept working herself around 45  degrees so that instead of laying parallel to me in her bed, she was perpendicular to me, with her feet closest to me, her head opposite and her pacifier seemingly having evaporated into the cosmos.  She hides it you see.  CONSTANTLY.  Not on purpose mind you, but somehow, in the process of trying to chase it back into her mouth, she always manages to get it someplace crazy.  Like underneath her butt.  Or inside her blankets, tucked down between her toes.  It's insane.

So, yeah, I wasn't sleeping.  I was stressing and playing the role of the faithful pacifier retrieving Mama.  Not that I know why I bother... she'd just as happily suck her thumb eventually.  The trouble, of course, is she's still not in her own bed so I can hear her squirming around searching for something to suck on, so I just end up rolling over and helping her. 

And also, it isn't that I'm worried that everything for the move won't get done.  I know that it will, because it always does.  I'm just really wondering HOW and WHEN it's all going to get done. 

I don't want to be separating boxes at 2 in the morning the night before the packers come.

But apparently, I'm just fine laying awake all night just worrying about it.

Somewhere around 2 or maybe 3, Peter woke up SCREAMING.  When I went to him, you're never going to believe what he needed.  That's right, you guessed it.  His pacifier had fallen out of his crib.  I retrieved it for him and he went back to sleep without so much as looking at me.

Anyway, the next thing I know it's 4 something and A.J. needed feeding again.  I noticed, also, that her Daddy was still SOUNDLY asleep at that point.  This is noteworthy because he prides himself on naturally rising before 5 am almost every day all on his very own.  Because you know, he's psychotic or something and the Navy has totally rewritten his circadian rhythms over the past 14 years and he thinks getting up that early is not only normal but necessary even.  Aside from the fact that I believe this to be COMPLETELY insane, I don't complain because it means that he'll usually take care of whatever is going on with the kids from about 4-7 or 8 am so I can sleep.

Except last night/this morning, when I'd been stressing enough to keep myself up all night.  He was still out like a light even AFTER I'd finished feeding our baby right around 5.  Luckily, she went back to sleep easily the second time.  Or at least I think she did.  I wouldn't know really, because even with her bed being 6 inches from my pillow, I passed the heck out so I may not have heard her if she'd been awake for awhile.

Next thing I know it's 8 and Matt is coming in to wake me up for Bible Study.  I really wanted to go since it's the last time before we move, but my overworked mind was missing all those hours worth of sleep and my body wouldn't move.

Not long after though, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and pried my head off the pillows to stumble downstairs because I realized that Matt probably needed to go to work.  And he did, actually, within a few short minutes of my appearance downstairs he was already showered, dressed and heading out the door.

Peter was very very very upset by this.  A.J. was just hungry and gassy, as per her usual.  I had two screaming children and it was barely 9 am. 

Fast forward a few hours:

While Peter watched Sesame Street and A.J. started her morning nap I was able to get most of the weekend's laundry put away and get myself dressed.  I also managed to bring down clothes for the kids so that after his show, Peter could enjoy the nice sunshiny day for a bit and play outside until lunch.  Also, something had apparently died a very sad and horrible death in the vegetable crisper drawers from our refrigerator and they were waiting on the back porch needing to be scrubbed clean. 

It wasn't long before Peter found the puddle left by my cleaning.

Awesome.  Way to sit right in it kid.  Because you have been wearing that nice clean pair of pants for over 10 minutes now....



Notice his face, dinosaurs say "Raaaawwr!"



Though, I suppose the wet, muddy pants were as much my fault as anyone else's since I did actually leave him out in the backyard while I went in to get A.J. dressed when she woke up from the nap she was taking, in her bouncy chair, in the dining room.  I mean, I was a whole 5-10 feet away from him and although the back door was wide open, it isn't like I was able to maintain eye contact with him every second.

Forget the water, I can't afford to loose eye contact with him for much more than a moment, trust me.  Never mind the dirt throwing of last week, or that yesterday he was again tormenting the dog by chasing him with his dinosaurs.... I've also caught him trying to shove those dinosaurs down a fresh gopher hole.   The child's likely to get bitten and end up with rabies at the rate he's going if I don't watch him EVERY second.  I should know better!



Still, didn't A.J. look cute today?



So, what with the wet, muddy status of his pants, Peter's outside morning play time was cut rather short.

I brought him inside and stripped off his jacket, shoes, socks and pants so all of them cold go into the wash and be clean again for the afternoon.

Because of this Peter had his second hissy fit of the day.

Guess he really, really, didn't want me to take his pants off.

Either that or he still wanted to be playing outside.  I'm not sure.  It was hard to tell owing to that fact that the boy can't exactly talk yet he was basically just screaming hysterically.

Not to worry, it was nothing a little lunch couldn't solve.

Those makers of Nutella are geniuses I tell you!

What a mess right?  Well, what we didn't manage to scrub off his face the dog took care of.

Yuck!  And the worst part is, Peter LOVES this.  So.  Gross.

Not long after that, Peter went down for a nap.  Matt (who'd come home early from work to help with move stuff) and I separated everything in A.J.'s room and cleaned out the garage.  Then Peter woke up from his nap (about an hour earlier than desired) suffering from an extraordinarily frightening and overly toxic smelling diaper.

We hoped that his early waking would be for the best since I'd realized earlier in the day that we were down to just 4 diapers for Peter and we had a few errands to run that afternoon.

But first we needed to walk the dog.

Lately, Peter has been walking (or in his case running) on our daily walks.  Like we don't even bring the stroller for him.  Matt puts A.J. in the Bjorn and takes the leash and Peter (with me closely supervising) does his thing, running ahead or straggling behind, exploring the neighborhood and his little world however he sees fit.  He collects acorns.  He studies rocks.  He smells flowers.  It's sweet.  And I've been dying to get some pictures of it.

So today, I stuck my point and shoot camera in my back pocket as we headed out the door.

Peter was off... wearing an old pair of my sunglasses, carrying with him my
old Donald Duck lunchbox (from Tokyo Disney)
and a poop-baggie for the dog in his back pocket.

Today, however, our fun was not meant to be.  When he got to the mailboxes he melted down.  I have NO idea why.  He'd given me his sunglasses to hold and I tried to put them in his lunchbox and this upset him.  That's how it started.  So he made a b-line to the nearest playground where he sort of began to pout. 

Matt took the dog and A.J. and went on ahead.

I think the pouting was because I chose not to let him take on the rather sizable drop at the back gate of the park.  He wanted to jump, I instead assisted him in climbing down safely and as he was already upset at me his mood just darkened.

Trying to please him, I offered to take him down the slide.  And thus the 3rd gigantic temper tantrum of our day ensued.  OH. MY. GOODNESS.  He was super worked up.  Of course there also had to be a little crowd of neighborhood Moms across the street watching his antics and listening to him SCREAM.  I felt like they were judging me.  They might have been sympathizing too, but who am I kidding, if I'd been in their place with one of them at the park and their kid flipping out, I'm sure I'd judge too. 

So I took him home.

He really didn't care for this decision either.

Once back at the house, I tried to talk to him and calm him down but he wasn't having any of it so he went right on throwing his fit for a good 10 minutes at least while I unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen.

When I'd finished and he was still at it, I decided by that point he more than likely couldn't even remember what the big deal even was and he most be feeling tired and thirsty and hyper-ventilaty, so I offered him some juice.

He threw it at me.

Eventually, I basically force fed him some.  He hadn't had a snack or anything to drink since his lunch and I'm sure his blood sugar was just crashing and by that point he couldn't even help himself.  Once he'd drank some he calmed down enough that I offered to take him back out and head on our walk backwards to meet Daddy.  This seemed to please him, except that before we'd even made it out of our yard Daddy was home.

And so naturally Peter freaked out all over again.

I let Matt handle it.

After several moooooore moments, a lot of rolling around and screaming and kicking in the mud, Daddy somehow made it all better with fruit snacks.

Yes, with fruit snacks.

God's greatest gift to parents of young children.

I'm kidding of course.  Mostly.

Sort of proved my theory about the low blood sugar thing though because the next thing we know, Peter has pried open the bottle of Dawn dish washing soap I'd left out on the back porch from washing the bins and was using it to draw little swirly blue patterns all over the patio.

Neat....

Thankfully, Matt stepped in again and handled it.  He loaded the kids up in the car while I hosed off the porch and before long we were off to pick up diapers and run our other assorted errands.  But of course, by the time those were all done it was nearing dinner time.  Eventually, after another entertaining conversation where in Matt asked me what I wanted to eat and I offered up something like 15 restaurant choices and then he tried to go to another place entirely until I threw a little mini-hissy fit of my very own because the last place I'd mentioned ended up being the place I really wanted to go and WHY DOES HE EVEN ASK IF HE'S GOING TO IGNORE ME ANYWAY...

We ended up at Black Bear Diner.

Which I love.  Because the food is pretty good and Peter will actually eat it and they don't seem to mind screaming children there and OH YEAH they give out balloons.

NOTHING in the whole wide world seems to please my child more than balloons.

Especially when the silly cashier gives us 2 balloons, as if my 3 month old baby needs one of her own also.

Boy was Peter thrilled.  Not only did he get to fill his tummy with french fries and macaroni and cheese and fruit but he got TWO balloons out of the deal.

Of course, to be fair, we did make him share when his sister cried.

Probably, she was crying because she was tired and hungry and not because her big brother stole her balloon, but, she seemed please with her floating treasure none the less.

Better still though, by the time I'd finished taking A.J.'s balloon pictures and pried the ribbon safely out of her little hands Daddy had Peter in the tub for his evening bath.


WITH the balloon of course.

When I was a child, I loved balloons so much.  Oh, who am I kidding I love them still... maybe even more than ever because I get to witness the joy they bring my children.  I can remember having one once and accidentally letting it go and my poor Grandmother chased the thing clear across a parking lot trying to get it back for me.  Another time I had a whole bunch, from the mall I think and I marched proudly around my Grandparents house with them deciding that when I grew up I was going to be a balloon salesperson.  Such a lofty goal right?  But balloons do make the world happier.  The balloon Matt bought Peter after A.J. was born sure did make his confused little world happy again. 

Unrelated, but if you're ever looking for a really easy/affordable gift for a new big sibling, I highly recommend a balloon. 

And the balloons this evening put a wonderful little happy stamp on the end of an otherwise crazy sort of day. 

I guess, sometimes, all it really does take is the little things.