So... it's been a couple weeks.
I feel like we're finally starting to adjust to our new schedule.
And by that, honestly, I mean ME.
Peter is at school "all day" Monday through Friday.
It's been a rough transition for him. He is fine academically, if not a little bored. Obviously, because it's Kinder and the "work" isn't exactly challenging yet. He's also fine socially. He's getting along with all the other kids as well as any of them do at this age. But he's had a hard time behaving himself. I actually think he's just been kind of testing the teachers, to see what he can get away with. The answer, if you're wondering, is nothing. They aren't going to let him get away with ANYTHING. And that's good, but it's been tough. I think he gets tired in the afternoon and sometimes just forgets and then he does dumb stuff too.
Anyway, this week he's done MUCH better. I'm hoping to hear about another good day when I pick him up this afternoon.
I am at work Monday, Wednesday and Friday, "all day." A.J. and Lucy stay home with our new(ish) Nanny, Emily. Peter is just across the parking lot from me. I can see his class's windows when I look out my own windows. His class also has me for music on Fridays.
My job is fine. Good even. It's just a lot. A LOT. The span of teaching 5 to 14 year olds all in the same day three times a week sometimes feels a bit like maneuvering an obstacle course. I enjoy it, of course, but it's exhausting. Most days I fall asleep on the couch shortly after the kids go to bed. I think Matt thinks I am ridiculous. But the thing is, even at work, I am still worrying about the kids. I try to check on and encourage Peter whenever he is at recess or lunch. (He claims he misses us while he is in class.) I also hear from the Nanny throughout the day via text if anything is interesting at home. Once it was A.J. being sick (Hand Foot and Mouth) another time it was Lucy. The Nanny is perfectly trustworthy and capable, but she still tries to keep me informed of what's going on and I really appreciate that. However, the pull of being so needed in two totally different directions is hard for me.
I honestly don't know how full time working mothers do it.
Also, my marathon training is winding down. Just about 3 more weeks to go. Last weekend was our longest run. I wound up doing about 21 miles. But my watch ran out of batteries and it was honestly the hottest weekend of the year, so I walked a lot of the last 3-4 miles. I think once that is over, I might start to get at least some of my energy back.
I am off Tuesdays and Thursdays, but A.J. goes to school in the morning, I drop her off right after Peter. Lucy and I usually end up running around doing errands while she is at school. We pick A.J. up at 11, and then have a couple hours together to relax until we have to be back to get Peter at 2:30. Because it's fun to drive back and forth to the same place 3 times a day.
A.J. is doing very well at school this year. She has, of course, already did an entire year of preschool so she knows what to do, even if she is in a new school. She's one of the oldest in her class and her teachers find her to be perfectly behaved (which let's face it, is a bit of a switch for her after last year and also a far cry from how Peter was at this same point when he was in that class.) They also tell me how silly and random and amusing she is nearly ALL the time (She really does say the darndest things.) She is constantly wowing them with her smarts too.
Today she was apparently informing the teachers of her knowledge of color mixing. They were supposed to be painting something with blue. She asked if she could have red too. They told her no, today they were just using blue and she informed them that if she could please have some red she could mix it with the blue to make purple. And she would much rather have been painting in purple.
*sigh*
That's my A.J.
I worry that she is so smart that it actually makes her somewhat antisocial. She definitely has a hard time relating to some of the younger kids in her class who are still crying for the moms each morning. A.J. could care less when I go. And actually, she doesn't seem to care much whether she has anybody to play with at school.
I've heard from both the Nanny and Matt that she complains about missing Peter when he is at school. I think she'd much prefer actually to be with the 4 year olds this year (which makes sense since those are the aged kids she was with last year) or better yet, to be in kinder sitting and learning right along side her brother. She'd probably do just fine if only they'd let her. In any case, she is where she is because of the age cut offs and there are NO exceptions. But, she asked me today if she could have a play date with another one of the girls from her class. This particular girl has a kinder aged sister as well, who I believe is in Peter's class. She's older for their group as well. In any case, if they are playing together I will absolutely encourage it. I'm so happy when she finds a friend without her brother's help, which is usually the case. I mean, usually she just tags on to the friendships of her brother. That is a valid way to go I guess, in some cases, but she does need to be able to find friends without him too.
A.J. also now has 3 classes a week at the dance studio. She dances one evening and on Saturday mornings. She has also added a beginning Acro class another evening. She is supposed to be stretching and learning to tumble. So far she can do a back bend and the ugliest cartwheels I've ever seen. Not to be mean, but her little legs and feet, that ought to point up toward the sky while she goes over, usually just wind up straight out, at a 90 degree angle to her body. But whatever, she technically is doing the move. And she's only 3 so I should't nitpick. I think she's working on forward and backward rolls as well, and maybe hand stands. In any case, she LOVES it and she is constantly upside down in my house and attempting to tumble off my furniture.
So there you go.
Peter, if you're wondering, isn't doing any activities right now. They have Fall Baseball, but not for t-ball and his age group. I looked into soccer, but I missed the cut off for our local league and it seemed silly to add something else to the schedule right now that would involve a lot of extra driving. We have enough new stuff going on right now anyway.
Lucy, in her own right, is up to lots of things new too. She walks almost all the time now, although whenever she does it, she resembles and odd mixture of a zombie and an exceptionally drunk person. I finally had to run out last week and find her some good baby early walking shoes (Robeez) because she constantly wants to walk around outdoors and in shopping malls and things were it's actually kind of gross to have her going bare foot.
She seems to be okay, most of the time with the transition to me working. She does cry when I leave, but the Nanny has started bringing her own baby around Lucy's same age so now she has a playmate during the day. Matt and I both agree it is silly to have the Nanny hand over almost her entire paycheck to childcare when she can just as easily bring her son with her and our babies can play together.
She still doesn't make a lot of noise most of the time. She has a few words, I guess, but they are rare. She will occasionally mock conversational sounds with her nonsense of baby babble, and also will pretend to read books aloud while babbling nonsense, so I guess her words are developing, even if she is really rather stingy with her talking. There is, generally quite a lot of talking around here (mostly me and Peter) so maybe she just doesn't much feel the need to add to the roar of our already loud household.
Anyway, most of the time, these last few weeks, I just find myself wondering how we got here.
Kindergarten? Already? Wasn't I just starting out on this parenting journey?
I look at Peter and there is such a disconnect. I still see that perfect little round face with puffy pink cheeks, tiny pursed lips, a perfect button nose and dark blue piercing eyes beneath that perfect little head of hair that he had the first first time I saw him and held him in my arms.
But then each morning I help him button up his school uniform polo shirt and tuck it carefully and neatly into his little uniform shorts and he suddenly looks so big to me. So tall and mature and practically grown already. Then he comes home covered in dirt, looking all dishelved and hands me a behavior notice and my heart breaks. Was this too soon? Should we have waited? Why is this so hard for him?
Or is this just the transition for him? Change has never been easy for him.
Each morning a leave him with the other kindergartners gathering at the lunch tables on the playground to wait for their teacher. I marvel at how big he is, I pray that he'll have a good day and I make myself walk away. But then sometimes I catch a glimpse of him mixed in with the larger whole group of his school's student body. I see him at church. He looks tiny sitting next to his 4th grade buddy. He sits quietly and traces his finger along a page of music during communion while the adults and older kids go to take the Eucahrist. He's trying so hard to be good. He is so little to my eyes again.
This morning I peaked out as I often do, from the preschool playground where I wait with A.J. until her teacher's open the door to begin their day. The Elementary aged students have their morning Flag salute and prayer out on their playground:
I don't look back. They don't need me to. But I do hold on tighter than necessarily to the baby's chubby hand while he walk.
This is all going to be over before I even know it.
I went to Target after because we needed diapers for Lucy and food for the dogs I also looked for Halloween shirts for the kids but nothing impressed me for the older two and the stuff they had for little ones was all for babies way littler still than Lucy. I did find a couple of cute Halloween beanie hats that fit Lucy. I bought her one like a jack-o-lantern and another that looks like candy corn.
This is my last Halloween with a baby after all....
I feel like we're finally starting to adjust to our new schedule.
And by that, honestly, I mean ME.
Peter is at school "all day" Monday through Friday.
It's been a rough transition for him. He is fine academically, if not a little bored. Obviously, because it's Kinder and the "work" isn't exactly challenging yet. He's also fine socially. He's getting along with all the other kids as well as any of them do at this age. But he's had a hard time behaving himself. I actually think he's just been kind of testing the teachers, to see what he can get away with. The answer, if you're wondering, is nothing. They aren't going to let him get away with ANYTHING. And that's good, but it's been tough. I think he gets tired in the afternoon and sometimes just forgets and then he does dumb stuff too.
Anyway, this week he's done MUCH better. I'm hoping to hear about another good day when I pick him up this afternoon.
I am at work Monday, Wednesday and Friday, "all day." A.J. and Lucy stay home with our new(ish) Nanny, Emily. Peter is just across the parking lot from me. I can see his class's windows when I look out my own windows. His class also has me for music on Fridays.
My job is fine. Good even. It's just a lot. A LOT. The span of teaching 5 to 14 year olds all in the same day three times a week sometimes feels a bit like maneuvering an obstacle course. I enjoy it, of course, but it's exhausting. Most days I fall asleep on the couch shortly after the kids go to bed. I think Matt thinks I am ridiculous. But the thing is, even at work, I am still worrying about the kids. I try to check on and encourage Peter whenever he is at recess or lunch. (He claims he misses us while he is in class.) I also hear from the Nanny throughout the day via text if anything is interesting at home. Once it was A.J. being sick (Hand Foot and Mouth) another time it was Lucy. The Nanny is perfectly trustworthy and capable, but she still tries to keep me informed of what's going on and I really appreciate that. However, the pull of being so needed in two totally different directions is hard for me.
I honestly don't know how full time working mothers do it.
Also, my marathon training is winding down. Just about 3 more weeks to go. Last weekend was our longest run. I wound up doing about 21 miles. But my watch ran out of batteries and it was honestly the hottest weekend of the year, so I walked a lot of the last 3-4 miles. I think once that is over, I might start to get at least some of my energy back.
I am off Tuesdays and Thursdays, but A.J. goes to school in the morning, I drop her off right after Peter. Lucy and I usually end up running around doing errands while she is at school. We pick A.J. up at 11, and then have a couple hours together to relax until we have to be back to get Peter at 2:30. Because it's fun to drive back and forth to the same place 3 times a day.
A.J. is doing very well at school this year. She has, of course, already did an entire year of preschool so she knows what to do, even if she is in a new school. She's one of the oldest in her class and her teachers find her to be perfectly behaved (which let's face it, is a bit of a switch for her after last year and also a far cry from how Peter was at this same point when he was in that class.) They also tell me how silly and random and amusing she is nearly ALL the time (She really does say the darndest things.) She is constantly wowing them with her smarts too.
Today she was apparently informing the teachers of her knowledge of color mixing. They were supposed to be painting something with blue. She asked if she could have red too. They told her no, today they were just using blue and she informed them that if she could please have some red she could mix it with the blue to make purple. And she would much rather have been painting in purple.
*sigh*
That's my A.J.
I worry that she is so smart that it actually makes her somewhat antisocial. She definitely has a hard time relating to some of the younger kids in her class who are still crying for the moms each morning. A.J. could care less when I go. And actually, she doesn't seem to care much whether she has anybody to play with at school.
I've heard from both the Nanny and Matt that she complains about missing Peter when he is at school. I think she'd much prefer actually to be with the 4 year olds this year (which makes sense since those are the aged kids she was with last year) or better yet, to be in kinder sitting and learning right along side her brother. She'd probably do just fine if only they'd let her. In any case, she is where she is because of the age cut offs and there are NO exceptions. But, she asked me today if she could have a play date with another one of the girls from her class. This particular girl has a kinder aged sister as well, who I believe is in Peter's class. She's older for their group as well. In any case, if they are playing together I will absolutely encourage it. I'm so happy when she finds a friend without her brother's help, which is usually the case. I mean, usually she just tags on to the friendships of her brother. That is a valid way to go I guess, in some cases, but she does need to be able to find friends without him too.
A.J. also now has 3 classes a week at the dance studio. She dances one evening and on Saturday mornings. She has also added a beginning Acro class another evening. She is supposed to be stretching and learning to tumble. So far she can do a back bend and the ugliest cartwheels I've ever seen. Not to be mean, but her little legs and feet, that ought to point up toward the sky while she goes over, usually just wind up straight out, at a 90 degree angle to her body. But whatever, she technically is doing the move. And she's only 3 so I should't nitpick. I think she's working on forward and backward rolls as well, and maybe hand stands. In any case, she LOVES it and she is constantly upside down in my house and attempting to tumble off my furniture.
So there you go.
Peter, if you're wondering, isn't doing any activities right now. They have Fall Baseball, but not for t-ball and his age group. I looked into soccer, but I missed the cut off for our local league and it seemed silly to add something else to the schedule right now that would involve a lot of extra driving. We have enough new stuff going on right now anyway.
Lucy, in her own right, is up to lots of things new too. She walks almost all the time now, although whenever she does it, she resembles and odd mixture of a zombie and an exceptionally drunk person. I finally had to run out last week and find her some good baby early walking shoes (Robeez) because she constantly wants to walk around outdoors and in shopping malls and things were it's actually kind of gross to have her going bare foot.
She seems to be okay, most of the time with the transition to me working. She does cry when I leave, but the Nanny has started bringing her own baby around Lucy's same age so now she has a playmate during the day. Matt and I both agree it is silly to have the Nanny hand over almost her entire paycheck to childcare when she can just as easily bring her son with her and our babies can play together.
She still doesn't make a lot of noise most of the time. She has a few words, I guess, but they are rare. She will occasionally mock conversational sounds with her nonsense of baby babble, and also will pretend to read books aloud while babbling nonsense, so I guess her words are developing, even if she is really rather stingy with her talking. There is, generally quite a lot of talking around here (mostly me and Peter) so maybe she just doesn't much feel the need to add to the roar of our already loud household.
Anyway, most of the time, these last few weeks, I just find myself wondering how we got here.
Kindergarten? Already? Wasn't I just starting out on this parenting journey?
I look at Peter and there is such a disconnect. I still see that perfect little round face with puffy pink cheeks, tiny pursed lips, a perfect button nose and dark blue piercing eyes beneath that perfect little head of hair that he had the first first time I saw him and held him in my arms.
But then each morning I help him button up his school uniform polo shirt and tuck it carefully and neatly into his little uniform shorts and he suddenly looks so big to me. So tall and mature and practically grown already. Then he comes home covered in dirt, looking all dishelved and hands me a behavior notice and my heart breaks. Was this too soon? Should we have waited? Why is this so hard for him?
Or is this just the transition for him? Change has never been easy for him.
Each morning a leave him with the other kindergartners gathering at the lunch tables on the playground to wait for their teacher. I marvel at how big he is, I pray that he'll have a good day and I make myself walk away. But then sometimes I catch a glimpse of him mixed in with the larger whole group of his school's student body. I see him at church. He looks tiny sitting next to his 4th grade buddy. He sits quietly and traces his finger along a page of music during communion while the adults and older kids go to take the Eucahrist. He's trying so hard to be good. He is so little to my eyes again.
This morning I peaked out as I often do, from the preschool playground where I wait with A.J. until her teacher's open the door to begin their day. The Elementary aged students have their morning Flag salute and prayer out on their playground:
They all come out in their classes and stand in long lines for the daily ceremony. Peter is tiny again. One of the tallest in his class, despite his younger age for his year, but easy to spot with his distinct hair and tall skinny form. He looks like a baby though. All the kindergartners do. SO YOUNG and small and scared and clueless. Trying SO HARD to be bigger and more like the older kids already and completely failing at it. The grade 1-3 kids look like college kids compared to these babies. They all sing. They say a prayer. Most of the kinder kids stare off at the sky instead.
The ceremony ends. His teacher tells everybody to turn around in line and get ready to head back into class to get their learning day started. Peter wiggles for no reason at all. He marches a weird sort of high step rather than just walks as they start to go in. He's smiling happily and appears to be singing or chanting something to himself, even though I'm sure he's supposed to be quiet. My heart melts. He's such a weirdo.
He's my little weirdo.
So tall and yet, so so little.
*sigh*
I turn around. Lucy, in my arms is wildly trying to escape. I put her down and she waddle walks across the preschool play yard and seats herself proudly in one of the little chairs at one of their tables. About 47 kids, mostly squealing little girls, surround her to dote on how cute she is. Lucy accepts the admiration and praise with a smile and marvels at how big she is too. Clearly she sees herself as one of them already.
*siiiiigh*
I look around for A.J. Last I saw her, she was on the swings with her little friend but there are other kids there now so she most have moved on. I scan the area and spot her. She's just come out from behind the table where Lucy is sitting surrounded with a couple of giant rubber dinosaurs in her hands. One appears to be some sort of ferocious, sharp toothed T-Rex. The other is a brontosaurus type (or whatever they're calling those long necked one these days.) A.J. stops walking to put the mouth of one around the neck of the other. She growls quietly for the mean one and starts on her way again at a half run, off to the sand box. She jumps in with her dinos and sits down to play quietly. By herself again. I wonder seriously if they are even allowed to be in the sandbox that early in the morning. I consider going to her to hug and kiss her goodbye. I look for her teachers but they are all involved with other concerned parents, mostly trying to pry their desperate children off of their legs. This is only the 5th class for the 3 year olds after all.
I go collect Lucy. No reason to hang out.
A.J. is fine. No reason to linger. Things to do.
I make myself leave. Lucy holds onto my finger and wobbly-walks with my all the way back across the playground towards our car.
This is all going to be over before I even know it.
I went to Target after because we needed diapers for Lucy and food for the dogs I also looked for Halloween shirts for the kids but nothing impressed me for the older two and the stuff they had for little ones was all for babies way littler still than Lucy. I did find a couple of cute Halloween beanie hats that fit Lucy. I bought her one like a jack-o-lantern and another that looks like candy corn.
This is my last Halloween with a baby after all....
