Christmas Eve After Church

Christmas Eve Mass was good, but crowded.  It never ceases to amaze me how "parishioners" come out of nowhere to absolutely cram themselves into the church for Christmas and Easter.  Our church has something like 5 masses each weekend and each of these is generally, pretty full.  We regularly attend the most popular mass as it is when they offer Sunday school and it can get really crowded on any given Sunday, but even still I can never believe how nuts it is on the Holidays.  

And not to be a grouch, but what really kills me is that we were at the 4:45pm service, specifically for the children.  There was also another service being held at 5 just across "campus" in the Parish Hall plus about 4 more as the evening wore on.  Why so many people without children with them were at "our"mass I'll never understand.  The children's choir sang before, and they did the music during the service as well, so perhaps a lot of folks were there to see their kids.  But even still.

I was happy to see so many of our friends from regular church services and school.  But then there were these people standing next to us in the aisle.  They were older and seemed to have completely lost the point.  She complained under her breath loudly the entire time that she should have worn flat since she was standing.  She opened a door to let in some fresh air which was all well and great except that I was sitting right there with my tiny baby who really didn't need to catch the chill.  Her husband (I'm assuming) harrumphed the entire time about the crowd and then had the nerve to say some very rude comments about the child who was cantering.

WHO ON EARTH makes fun of a CHILD singing during mass on CHRISTMAS?!?!?!?

Oh I could have just spit on him.

Instead, I decided to do this new thing I've been working on:  I busied myself about trying to ignore him while I kept my own kids happy and well behaved and the whole entire time I prayed for him to, well, get it together.

When it came time to share the peace I shook his hand and flashed him a winning smile.  He shook my hand tightly like an experienced business man and wished me the warmest of "Merry Christmases" I've heard in a long time.  His wife said something about my sweet children.  I thought maybe my prayers for them were working.  Then, of course, they disappeared immediately after communion and they missed the whole ending.  

Ugh.

And people wonder why I stress so much about my kids school and church experiences.  

I don't want them to be the grouchy folks at Christmas Eve mass someday.

THAT'S WHY.

Amoung the 5000 other reasons...

The Monsignor must have said ten times about how this was the happiest night of the whole year.  

Even still... at least they were there. It's more sad to me how many people don't even go to church on Christmas any more.   I need to remember that.  There's a lesson in all this that God is working on with me, I just know it..  In any case, I've been continuing to pray for those people.  

So anyway, the kids did basically, great.  

I was, apparently, rather distracted.

And, when we got home it was time to have our fun feast of treats for dinner.

Peter and A.J. were very excited.

We put the A Charlie Brown Christmas DVD on for the kids to watch while we got everything set up.

Chips and Dip, Bread, Cheese and Crackers, plus candy and all those kinds of Christmas Cookies make up our annual "Treats (Junk) for Dinner" Christmas eve meal.

I remember doing this after church as a kid.  I don't really remember what we did when I was my own kids ages.  But when I was a bit older we went to church later and had an actual dinner before and the treats after of course, but my kids are still little so we go to church early and this is the way we've adapted it for my own family.  This way it also kind of corresponds to the annual Christmas Eve party with similar types of treats that Matt's family has at his Grandmothers house.

It's a little sad every year that we don't make it back to Ohio for the Holidays.  Obviously we wish we could see Matt's family.  Then again, it also brings a sort of relief.  The chaos of the BIG family crowd isn't there.  Everyone gets to sleep in their own bed. It's our own church family that we see at mass, even if it is does BLOW up in population this one night of the year.  Also, honestly, for me, staying at our own house and celebrating with just my own immediate little family here that Matt and I have made, removes some of the awkwardness of remembering all of the members of my own extended family that we don't see and all of those old family traditions that fell apart or got lost along the way.

I think about them every single year of course.  But at this point, it just is what it is.

Anyway....

The kids don't really remember anything other than Christmas the way we've done it these past couple of years in San Diego.  So they just think it is fun.  The Christmas Eve excitement and sugar infusion probably helps with that too.

It was a good evening.  Relaxing.  After Charlie Brown ended, Matt put on The Muppet Christmas Carol.  We ate, we snuggled on the couch.  It was nice. we Facebooked and texted some of Matt's family. 

I thought a lot about the previous 2 years when we'd done the same thing.  Especially 2 years ago when Matt was home on leave from his deployment to Iraq and Qatar.  That was such a weird holiday in that we barely had any of our stuff (most of our furniture and belongings were still in storage) and our tree was missing all of our special ornaments and we didn't have any of our decorations but none of that mattered.  We had each other.  We were together.  He was home with us for a couple weeks after already being gone for 9 months and even though Peter and A.J. were still so little, it will probably always be the most perfect holiday we ever had.  This year I'd been so busy and so stressed out trying to get everything done and accomplish all the holiday traditions... but there's still something to be said for the simplicity too.  Because of the way things turned out with my parents I concentrate a great deal of my energy every year on giving my children memories and traditions.  And those are important, but really, being together as a family is the only thing that really matters.

17 years in the military and countless deployments, yet Matt has always been with me at Christmas somehow.   

We are pretty of LUCKY.

But that year when Matt was deployed, we'd mulled over lots of exotic plans for his 2 weeks of leave.  We thought about trips and cruises and adventures.  In the end, spending Christmas together just seemed like the best, most important option.  Spending time together and making memories together, every day but especially at the holidays seems like the only real way to ensure we all stay together to me.

Anyway, I'm all nostalgic tonight as I write this aren't I?  Geesh.

To be fair though, if you can't wax both poetic and nostalgic about the importance of FAMILY at Christmas, when can you?

Right!  Moving on:  Peter and A.J. had to eat their plates of cheese and crackers and bread and things before they could have any sweets.

How very nutritious of us.

Lucy had breast milk, which she ate until she threw up (like always) and then snuggled alternately in her swing or on my lap for the duration of our evening.

Peter was all excited and nervous about Santa.  He had a hard time settling down.

A.J.?  She concerned herself mainly with the fudge.  In as large of quantities as possible.

I'm sure she thought she was being sneaky.  Never occurred to her that her Dad was taking picture of the whole little fudge heist.  Seriously.  She has a piece in her mouth and at least 3 pieces in that little hand of hers.  The one you CAN see.  Lord only knows how many she has in the other hand.  :)

And people say her mother has a sweet tooth?!?!?

Anyway, eventually the movie ended and it was time to start getting ready for bed.

Mid way though they needed to play dinosaurs...?

Lucy was looking mighty sweet in her Christmas pajamas though, right?

Once everyone got changed, it was time to pick some cookies to leave out for Santa.  

And of course, pour him a nice glass of milk to wash it down.  

Peter chose the Kiss Cookie, A.J. chose the Gingerbread Lady.

Totally unrelated, but A.J. scrunches her face up a lot in pictures and nearly always has hair hanging in her eyes, so I just thought she looked so beautiful in this one:

At school, Peter's class made a big batch of Magic Reindeer feed and then divided it up to send home with everyone.  The idea is to sprinkle this glittery mixture of oats and grains out on our front lawns to coax them into landing Satna's sleigh at our house even though that is difficult here due to the lack of snow.  So after we chose Santa's cookies we all ventured out front to put down this food.

Then we all came in and cuddled up on the bottom bunk to read some stories.  Matt chose our Pop-up one about the Nativity and of course, Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Then the kids went to bed to dream about dancing sugar plums or Santa Claus or new toys or something.

(Really, one can only imagine what sort of dreams A.J. wound up having after ALL that fudge!)

And to all a GOOD NIGHT.

One Year later

It occurred to me this morning when I was checking the weather and saw that date what day it was.

It's been a year now since THIS happened.

It's crazy, actually, to realize that we're already so far removed from all of that. The deployment, that seemed to go forever... but in reality went on for just a few weeks longer than a year, is now another whole year behind us.

I'd be lying if I said I still don't feel and find the affects of that terrible year on all of us sometimes. The good and some bad.  Perhaps that's just the way of life though.

Also, everybody looks pretty similar a whole year later... except my hair is much shorter now and A.J.'s hair has gotten a lot... bigger.  (I would say longer, but it seems like the curls make it so it never actually looks any longer.  As the length increases it just gets more and more volume, so it never hangs much past her shoulders and it's beginning to appear as if it never will.)

Weird.

Oh, and Peter is missing a tooth.

Adjusting

Things here are moving along.  The kids are absolutely still obsessed with their father and I'm trying hard to not feel left out as going from the sole caregiver to an after thought so suddenly is a bit disarming.  I'm enjoying the "break" as it is, and the ability to do really luxurious things like run to the store without kids, sleep in a bit and even lay down for the occasional nap.  

Matt has to show his face at work every day at a bare minimum to muster and is also in the process (still) of completing all the necessary health checks and paperwork that he needs before he can officially transfer to his next command and go on his 30 days of leave.   Yesterday I had him take our boy with him (which was ironic since it turned out to be take your child to work day)  but it was exciting to get the few hours with just the girl and myself.  

The boys returned with Krispy Kreme.  

I shouldn't have been surprised.

In other news, I'm heading up to LA later today to pick up the dog from the airport.  Once he is back with us again, our family really will be ALL together once again.  

His homecoming makes me pretty nervous.  I'm not sure how he's going to react or how the kids will be either.  As hard as it has been to have him gone, I really do know he's been happy with the in-laws in Ohio.  They've kept him safe and happy and I suppose I'm just nervous that we won't be able to care for him as well once he's back home.  

I still have to remind myself that Matt is here again and even when he goes back to work for real, he'll still be available to help me with this stuff.

Anyway, a few more fun pictures and stories:

The exchanges on base overseas don't deal with change.  Instead they give this little paper "gift certificates" in 5, 10 or 25 cent denominations.  Anybody else remember pogs?  Matt saved his for the kids to play with.

Inspecting her "money"

Some of that hair around her head is mine.... but she still is getting quite the little mop on her already.

Both children are struggling to see their father as anyone other than "Mr. Fun."  And while sure there are loads of opportunities for him to be that guy, he also has to be the strict Dad too sometimes.  Peter in particular is having a hard time taking scoldings from Matt.  It seems to make him angry and he'll go to one of his worst places emotionally, dropping his voice really low and grumbling as he fights back tears when he doesn't get his way.  Peter seems as if he doesn't want to cry in front of his Dad.  I've seen him take a few falls that normally would have had him moaning tearfully and demanding kisses to make things better but with Matt he just tries to keep a brave face on and act like nothing has happened.  It's weird actually.  I wonder where he got the idea that he shouldn't cry in front of him?  We've certainly never told him any such thing.

Anyway, A.J. reacts differently.  If Matt has to scold her she tends to put her chin down, digging it into her chest and mopes.  It's similar to her "shy" behavior.  If this reaction doesn't get her what she wants however, she goes into full on pout mode as shown below:

The weirdest part is while she has been known to throw all sorts of fits for me, she's never done such a thing until now.
(Both Matt and I have to try hard not to laugh at her when she does this....)

 In other news, on Wednesday, we took Matt down to the base early and then I had to bring the kids home and get them fed and dressed as A.J. had a doctor's appointment for her MRI next week.  Oh my goodness was that ever the event of the century.  Peter in particular wasn't doing well with having been woken earlier than usual and was reacting by being completely impossible.  A.J. just wanted to get in to trouble and for her first trick chose to climb into a chair in the reception area and then dive off of it head first, landing on her forehead and then flipping over and landing the second time on her back on the hard tile floor.

The result was a giant purple bump on her forehead and a nice red one on the back of her head.  She screamed for pretty much the next hour.

Combine her unhappiness with Peter's and by the time the doc came in he just said "What on Earth is going on in here?" with a big, amused grin.  I sighed and told him I was losing the battle this morning as Dad had just come home and any semblance of order in our lives was basically shot to hell and this was the ensuing chaos.

After the doctor was finished with the examination it was nearing lunch time so I called Matt to see how his day was progressing.  He said he was free until after lunch so I offered to come down and we could all have lunch together.  If nothing else, I thought that driving back down to the base would give the kids a chance to sleep.

No, he definitely wasn't tired at all.

 Like his hat?  It's one of Matt's.  He's pretty much been wearing it everywhere he goes since Monday night.

In other news, bedtime has been interesting.  Peter now no longer wants anything to do with me putting him to bed, reading him stories, etc and insists that Matt stays and lays with him until he falls asleep.

On Tuesday night this meant that about 15 minutes after lights out Peter came bouncing out of his room while  my poor jet lagged husband snored away softly in the kid's bed.

On Wednesday, however they both fell asleep soundly pretty quickly.

I checked on them often but left Matt in there until it was time for us to go to bed ourselves, figuring he was so tired it didn't matter where he was, he was going to fall asleep.  I couldn't help at laugh (and of course take a picture) of the two of them sleeping there.  (Matt has his arm around Peter's stuffed polar bear!)

Then about 10 o'clock when it was grown up bedtime I went in to carefully rouse my husband and give him the chance to take his contacts out, brush his teeth and change into his pajamas for the night. I almost died laughing with what I saw.  I didn't take a picture that time but Matt was still sleeping soundly there on the bed but Peter was asleep on his stomach on the floor!  He was half under the bed and just his little head was sticking out for me to see.

Not sure how that happened but we THINK Peter must have dropped his bunny or pacy, woken up looking for it then jumped down to fetch it but fell back to sleep before he got back up in bed.  

Either that or my husband pushed his son right out of his own bed.

:)

Ha.

Anyway, that's how things are coming along here.

The End

As you may have gathered by my previous post, (which was written on Sunday evening) Matt came home on Monday night.

It was a long day before hand of course, as he wasn't due to arrive at the airport here until after 9 o'clock in the evening.  But no matter how long it was for me, and how difficult it was waiting, I tried to remember that it was probably worse for him as they loaded the buses for the airport at something like 4 in the afternoon on Sunday Kuwait time for their flight which was due to leave after midnight.  If you're wondering, that meant he started travelling in Kuwait at roughly 6 am on Sunday morning our time here in southern California.  If you start the clock from that bus ride, this meant he was travelling for just about 39 hours before his final flight landed here at home.

Wow.

Anyway, we passed the day as best as we could, not unlike any other really, except that after their baths, I dressed the kids in cute "welcome home" outfits instead of their pajamas.  Matt's final leg was from Phoenix, so then when he sent me a text to let me know he had boarded his final flight and was just over an hour away, we loaded into the car and headed off to the airport to meet him.

A.J. got a new dress for the occasion.
17 months or years?  Geez, what is that look on her face?

Even with my careful planning, we still ended up at the airport about a half hour early.  I wandered around and around and around the baggage claim area until FINALLY he sent me a text that simply said "TOUCHDOWN" meaning his plane had landed and just as soon as they got to the gate he'd be coming to meet us.

A.J. just seemed tired.

But Peter was very, very excited!

Finally, he appeared to us... we saw him coming through the glass railings on the upper level but I couldn't snap a clear photo (like he was moving quickly or something) until he got onto the escalator.

I wonder if those other folks on the escalator truly understood what was about to happen for us, of if they're just grinning and gawking like that for the heck of it.

Okay, well, a bit later Matt told me that the blond lady in the front of the photo looking over her shoulder had come back and traded his seat in coach for hers in First Class so I suppose maybe she had SOME idea....

Anyway, as soon as Matt made it to the bottom of the stairs Peter ran to him and jumped in his arms.

A.J. ran too... after her brother, to her Daddy and then she kept going and tried to go up the escalator.  :)

After a few moments, a gentleman working in the Information Booth came and offered to get a photo of all of us together.  Of course, I only had my fancy camera with me and it seems as though maybe it was too fancy for him to get a good picture with.

Cropped down, this is the better of the shots he got.  He didn't give us any kind of warning which is why Matt's eyes aren't open.  And A.J. was being shy... and with some photo shop-love to reduce the blurriness, I suppose it's... okay.
Ah well....

Next Matt went to have a word with some people from his command, verifying who he was, where he was coming from and that due to the late hour of his arrival that he wouldn't be in the next morning.

Then I held A.J., who needed a moment to get used to the "new" person suddenly there with us, giving some Peter and his Dad some time.

It wasn't long before she decided she was ready to get in there too. (These are easily my favorite photos from that night.)

When the baggage started to come in Peter went with his Dad and waited.  So sweet to see the pair of the there together.

A.J. just wanted to run.

When Matt had found his sea bags I couldn't help but be amused how they were almost as tall as Peter was.

Peter didn't seem to care.  He happily would have found a way to carry one like his Dad if we would have let him. 

So then, since it was late, we just went home.  Peter fought sleep for a long time and chatted happily to his Dad while I drove.  Then Matt would yawn and Peter would yawn.  Matt would be saying something to me and stop to clear his throat and then we'd hear a little echo from the back seat as Peter would clear his throat too.

Even still, by the time we reached our house, both the kids were out like lights and as it was already past 11, we all pretty much went to sleep right away.

The next morning, Matt was up before me (no surprise there, even considering the extreme jet lag) and I woke up to hear him helping Peter in the bathroom.  I will confess, I went back to sleep for a little while longer... just. because. I. could.

We spent the day doing a whole lot of nothing other than being together as a family really and trying to figure out what our new version of normal is going to be.  That's a long road ahead though, so in the mean time, we  just tried to breath in the sweet blessed relief in knowing that this deployment... this horrible trial in our lives... is OVER.

And to celebrate, of course, Matt brought a few small presents.

Peter, being very into sports, got a Qatar soccer jersey.

A.J. (and me also) got a silver spinner bangle bracelet.  Both bracelets say our names on one side in English and on the other our names are in Arabic.  

A.J.'s bracelet is obviously WAY too big, but it we'll keep it safe for her until she gets older.

SO HAPPY THAT HE'S FINALLY HOME FOR GOOD!