Daddy Dinner

April 2016

At our school, one of the very biggest events of the year for the children in PreK and Kindergarten, is the Annual Dinner.  And, although they call it the "Annual Dinner" what they mean is that it is actually, the annual "DADDY dinner."

Of course, there is no requirement that the kids bring their Daddy's, because you know, that isn't always possible, but traditionally, that who they bring.  And, although I was somewhat swamped with my daily life of parenting 3 kids and working (even from home) full time and I didn't help, I guess the tradition is that the Mom's do most of the Organizing and Decorating in order to make the evening a special event for the kids and the Dads.  

So I guess it was a Mermaids and Pirates theme.  I'm not sure if that's what they do every year or not, but A.J. and her classmates practiced for weeks before hand to learn lots of sweet little songs to perform for their Dads.

And, I guess with everything going on, I didn't really think too much of it until pretty much a few days before.  Then it occurred to me that, really, Matt should wear his uniform.  I mean, I think the other Dads just wore nice suits or a shirt and tie maybe, but in any case, he just needed to wear it.  He's only got so many more chances to wear the thing anyway, and also... well...

THIS:

A.J. had literally just gotten her somewhat overpriced Easter dress a few weeks earlier.  I originally planned on her wearing that, because really she'd just gotten it and I love it and all of that.

But then the day before I got swept up in a wave of nostalgia or something.  I thought about all the times I've seen sweet photos of daughters and their daddies all dressed up for Father/Daughter dances.  I don't know why we never seemed to find these events for them to attend.  But now we had this one and I had somehow convinced Matt to just embrace the evening and wear not only his uniform but his DRESS uniform, so A.J. just sort of needed another new outfit.  

Like, the perfect new outfit.

Before I picked up A.J. from dance one afternoon, I ran into Janie and Jack.

I literally NEVER go in there.  

I think in all actually, in nearly 7 years of parenting I had been into that store exactly one other time and that had been when Lucy was turning a year old and I'd been searching for the perfect dress for her to wear in her first birthday portraits.  I'd certainly never bought anything in there before, although I had been told you could find some nice deals on the sale racks in the back.  I went in.  As it was just after Easter, there were dozens and dozens of gorgeous spring dresses on sale.  Many were still on the pricey side.  But then the sales lady came over.  She asked me what I was looking for and as we chatted she was so helpful and it turns out her niece dances with A.J. on the Senior Company.  She dug and dug through the racks with me until I found a very sweet dress that I loved for a fair price.  Then she helped me find shoes and a sweater and a hair bow to complete the outfit.  I think the whole look turned out very sweet.  (Although, honestly, in the bright early evening sunlight while it didn't photograph all that well.)  

Sometimes it's just nice for a girl to get to feel extra pretty for a special event.  I don't tend to be that fancy over all, but this is something I know.  Especially when Daddy is involved.

I wasn't jealous at all of their event.  I was happy to stay home with Peter and Lucy.  (Lucy was desperate to go along.)  However, I just would have loved to have been a fly on the wall and been able to watch the whole event.

When they came home a few hours later, Matt said they'd had a great time except that poor A.J. seemed to be coming down with a tummy bug and wasn't feel very great.  (She actually stayed home from school the next day.)

But, he did bring me a few pictures.

Matt, A.J. ad her friend Henry in the photo booth.

Henry's dad joined them.

A.J. posing with the mermaid decorations.

Here she is during the performance.

Here's a short video of one of their little song dances.

So cute.

The place mat A.J. colored and the table favors they brought home.

Supply Corps Birthday Ball and a look back.

March 2016

Early in March, Matt and I got a sitter and got dressed up and all fancy like to attend the Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball.  It seems to be the one such occasion we manage to attend these days.  It is, actually, an awful lot of work finding a sitter and making myself look presentable.

Matt, as per usual, was taking the evening very seriously.

Meanwhile, I ordered a new dress but the 10 day shipping actually took more than 10 days so it didn't arrive in time.  So for the first time in roughly 18 years of attending these things, I'm somewhat horrified to admit, I repeated a dress.  (Stop stressing, for the first couple of years I wore dressed I already had from other events, and also on at least 5 other occassions I BORROWED a dress.  So there.  Ha.)

The last time I wore this dress was the year Peter was born.  I was a heck of lot skinnier then.  I mean, good grief what the heck is going on with my arm?  Ugh.  

In any case, focus on Matt.  He's a lot fatter now than he was then too, but his uniform was so tight that it apparently was squeezing all his wobbily bits in nicely and making him look a lot more trim and swarthy than he actually is.  Also, that grin on his face.  Yeah, he's totally grabbing my bottom in this picture.

Good to see he hasn't changed.

Not one bit.

Except, you know, for the fact that his uniform is not way too tight.  Thank goodness for a nice cummerbund to hide the fact that he nearly popped a button (or two.)

Anyway, so it was a lovely evening.  It began with cocktail hour which is always interesting because Matt doesn't actually know that many other Suppos around here.

Somewhere in south Florida my Aunt and probably my Grandmother are looking at these pictures and wondering why I don't have on any lipstick.  I do, actually have on quite  lot of make up, but I prefer a nice subtle lip gloss and that is all.  So sue me.  

Now, let me just be clear and say that Matt and I have been to a LOT of Navy formals.  I just did some digging and I've located pictures from all of them.  Keep in mind these are JUST various formals.  

Also, keep in mind that Matt is coming up on his 20 years and retirement.  I was 19 when we started dating, and I think I was 21 in this first photo.  Yikes.  Also, it seems weird because there are time gaps, but these are when he was stationed away from me or was deployed.

Are you ready for this?

OSU Navy ROTC Quarterdeck Ball, January 1999

Corpus Christi Navy Birthday Ball, October 2001

San Diego Surfaces Forces Ball, August 2003

San Diego Navy Birthday Ball, October 2003

San Diego Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball, March 2004

Combined Fleet Activities Yokosuka Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball
Tokyo, Japan; February 2005

Combined Fleet Activities Yokosuka Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball
Tokyo, Japan; February 2006

San Diego Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball, February 2007

San Diego Surfaces Forces Ball, August 2007
(There is probably an official photo from this one SOME place, but it's buried some where I can't find right now.)

San Diego Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball, March 2009
(I was 6 months pregnant with Peter)

Monterey Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball, February 2010
(There was no official photographer at this ball.)

Monterey Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball, February 2011
(I should have taken off my heels, I look stupid tall.)

San Diego Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball, March 2013
(I was 4 months pregnant with Lucy)

San Diego Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball, March 2014

San Diego Navy Supply Corps Birthday Ball, March 2015

Wow.  And possibly YIKES.

All that to say, that we've been to a bunch of these things already.  They vary in how good the food is, the quality of the venue and the amusement provided by the guest speaker.  This one, for what it's worth, was one of the nicest I can recall.

Kindly keep any comments about my ability to actually recall with any accuracy due to the quantities of adult beverages consumed at these things, ahem, to yourself.  Thankyouverymuch.

The birthday cake.

My dinner... buried underneath the garden clippings.  How very Monterey of them.

Which brings us to our formal pictures for this year.

My GOD we've gotten fat.  

Matt SUPER hates this photo.

At this point it looks like we've got exactly one more of these deals to attend before he retires, so... well, yeah.

Lucy's First Day of Preschool

February 2016

So, remember how last year I worked part time 3 days a week?

And, I'm not sure how much I talked about this, but remember how it was really hard on me physically and kind of emotionally.  And we had a lovely young girl come to the house to take care of Lucy and A.J. on the days I was at work but for some reason A.J. hated it and Lucy seemed to be doing okay in general except for how she basically didn't talk almost at all?

And so then we found out we were coming up to Monterey and there was kind of a lot of chaos where we listed and sold our house and Matt came up to Monterey early and I stayed in San Diego with the kids for about 6 weeks after to finish out the school year, etc.

And so as all of that was happening I did look for a job up in Monterey and there were even some really good opportunities, but basically, I ultimately felt that I needed to stay home this year.  I needed to go back to being the Mom my kids needed and spend time with Lucy and we were just going to have to figure out a way to make it work financially.

Yeah.... well, about that.

It was such a good plan.

Except then again life in Monterey is EXPENSIVE.

By early November it was looking like my staying home was not going to be possible.  I put in for a couple of teaching jobs.  I even interviewed for a position working for an Online School where I'd work from home and teach kids all across the state over a computer internet connection.  But time passed and the holidays came and nothing ever happened.

After Christmas the situation was looking grim.  Matt started saying we would need to pull the kids out of their private school next year.  I started hitting the pavement again hard.  

And then, at the very end of January, I got a call back from that Online School.  They had a full time position for me.  It was subbing gig, but it was full time hours and full time pay just working from home.  I took it and began work at the start of February.

But even with me working from home, Lucy was getting a raw deal.  I was up in my office working while she puttered around the house largely on her own.   She watched way too much TV.  She felt sad and said things like "But I need you Mommy" way more than I could handle, especially whenever I had something I really, really needed to be doing for work.  Inside of the first week I realized I was going to have to find something for her.  

Finding space in a day care in February in a small town with limited options was a challenge.  Most places were on a wait list.  Several places were extraordinarily expensive.  Everybody kept suggesting I get online again and find a nice young Nanny to come to my home again like I'd done the year before.  But that didn't seem fair to Lucy.  At least last year, with the nanny, she'd had her sister around to play with.  Lucy longed for play mates.  She had already asked me many times when we took A.J. and Peter to school if she could go to preschool too.  So, even though I realized finding a full time spot in a childcare center would be expensive, certainly more so then paying somebody ten bucks an hour to look after her, I knew it was what she needed.  

She needed a place where she could play with kids her own age.  She needed caregivers who could pay attention to her when she needed it.  She needed activities to be planned for her to do for fun and learning.  I couldn't do any of those things, especially now that I was spending the majority of my time up in my office, logged on to the computer.  And as much as a Nanny would have been more affordable, she really really needed a more social situation.  She'd been in dance classes for 6 months already and still, she had never actually talked to her teacher.

At the recommendation of one of A.J.s friend's parents at school, we called a childcare center that is actually right across the street from Matt's office.  It was, at least, affordable.  They had availability every day except Tuesday mornings.  This was an amazing coincidence as I had just changed Lucy from the Thursday morning "Mommy and Me" dance class to the Tuesday morning Creative Dance class.  The Tuesday class had been small and the teacher said it was alright to change her since Lucy continually said she didn't really want me to come in  to class with her.  Lucy wanted to be a big girl, apparently, just so long as she could be a big girl on her own terms.

Anyway, so we took a tour of the day care center.  Lucy disappeared onto the playground almost immediately so we signed her up to start the following week on Tueday (since Monday was President's Day.)  The other parents we knew had told us their youngest had gone there for a couple years.  She hadn't learned very much there at all, but she'd been loved.  

Well.  

Gosh.  

Lucy was two.  Well, by now she was two and a half.  This worked to be right about the same age that I started A.J. in a preschool program first one, and then two mornings a week.  And when I put A.J. in it wasn't because I wanted her to learn much of anything.  I just wanted her to have some place to go and something to do.  I wanted her to make friends and be active, because at the time, Lucy was going to be born and I didn't want A.J. to feel ignored because of it.  I hadn't wanted A.J. to spend an entire year sitting in front of the TV like Lucy was inclined to do now.

I was so sad to be putting my baby in school at all at this point.  It certainly hadn't been the plan yet. I wanted to keep her home with me, but The fact of the matter was I had to work and there wasn't a choice.

At 2 1/2, just like A.J. had done, Lucy was going to preschool.  The circumstances were so different. 

This time it was a necessity not a luxury but all the other circumstances were so similar.  Lucy needed a place to go of her own.  She needed to go some place she wasn't going to be ignored.  She needed, and I needed for her, to just go some place where she could be loved

And the coincidence about their availability and Lucy's dance class was too great to ignore.  We were supposed to put her there.  Lucy wanted to go there.  

Matt took her in that first Tuesday afternoon.  Here she is on the playground.  She picked out her new "first day of school" outfit all by herself the day before.

That afternoon, when Matt picked her up, he said the teachers remarked that it was as if she had "just always been there." Apparently she'd had a good day.  She was a good listener and a good direction follower.  She played nicely with the other kids and liked being there.

I'm not kidding when I say that from that first afternoon she is a much changed child.  She talks SO much more.  Sometimes non-stop about her day.  She makes jokes.  She asks for what she needs or wants.  Sometimes, all these months later, I can't believe I ever worried about sending her there.  It's been SO good for her.  It's hard, as her mother, to admit this, but home with me every day while her siblings were at school, she just wasn't getting all the things she really needed.

Here she is in the morning, on her second day.  I felt like we needed the more traditional front door picture.

Yes, her shoes are on the wrong feet.

If you're wondering.  It was really really good for about 2 weeks.  Then it was really really hard for about a month.  When the novelty wore of, she cried at drop offs.  I cried too, but always after I left.  I'm so thankful for her teachers who so gently pry her off of my when we have to leave.

She's been there now almost 4 1/2 months, although we are going to let her stay home in July with her brother and sister and then start again in August.  She loves it most days.  She takes naps there most days!  She has friends.  Lots of friends.  "Lucy K." they all call her, because I guess there is another Lucy.  She has a best friend name Maya.  She makes us paintings.  She comes home with sand in her shoes and mulch in her pockets.  

I always thought day care was maybe like the worst thing I could I do to my child.  I felt sorry for the kids that "had" to go.  

I. Was. Wrong.  

 

Getting Settled

It's not getting any easier to write these "catch up" posts, but I've got to do it or else this blog will forever be behind.  I know, that's not doing much to motivate me either.

I was talking to a lady at A.J.'s dance studio the other day about this blog.  It's the 3rd or 4th time it's come up with somebody random in the last few weeks, and each time people sound interested until they hear that I "just" write about my family.  And sure, what I write any more isn't even any good.  But this is my family's history I'm recording, I guess, and I can't quit now.  

The blogging thing seems to be a rapidly dying art already, as people with their short attention spans are much more likely to rely soley on Twitter and Facebook to see what's going on with friends and family they pretend to care about, rather than clicking over and reading whole, lengthy paragraphs worth of information.

Meh.

But, then again, who knows, maybe if I get caught up I will be able to write better and make this thing be actually interesting once again.

Maybe.

But probably not.

Anyway, once we got home in the early evening from A.J.'s dance recital everything became about packing up, cleaning up and getting ready to go.  We did fairly well and hit the road right about 9 am. Matt drove the van with the girls and I took Matt's car with Peter.  Traffic was over all pretty good, even through LA.  We were making pretty good time until we stopped just on the other side of the  mountains north of LA for lunch which took FOR-EV-ER.  It was good, mind you, but the service was ridiculously slow.  

I also was feeling kind of crappy.  I had this whole watering-eyes sinus thing.  It got worse and worse as the day went on.  Also, Matt had made this whole big deal about staying together on the road but after lunch he left me in his dust.  I caught up to him at a gas station when we changed highways and he had the nerve to find my annoyance (and accompanying tirade) comical so once we got back on the road after the gas station I blazed ahead and left him trailing behind.  

It's stupid really, but between that nonsense of wondering how far apart we were the whole second half of the trip and my watering eyes, the trip could not be over fast enough.

It was a relief that the house was already *mostly* moved into when we arrived.  I spent the next couple of days working to get it properly organized the rest of the way and getting ready for Peter's birthday and the 4th of July.  

And then, as we got things organized, we just kind of settled rapidly into our new lives here.

Here are some fun pictures from those first couple weeks.

Lucy walking Brutus

Molly walking Matt and A.J.

All of them playing at the playground down the street

Lucy trying to swing

Still

Peter on the humongous round and round slide

A.J. swinging

Matt with Lucy one day before he went to work

Matt coloring with A.J. and watching Frozen

Peter (and his bunny) sleeping

Peter and Molly snuggling

Silly Brutus sleeping

A.J. dancing to my music and choreographing her own little solo

A heart

Lucy and Molly

Sleepy Molly hogging the couch

The girls drawing with chalk on the driveway

Peter hula hooping 

Our cul de sac and all the kids running around.  (A.J. is in the front running away from the camera, Peter is on his bike with the Captain America Shield and his trademark watermelon helmet.  Lucy seems to be M.I.A.)

Lucy eating junk food at a block party we had on our cul de sac

Lucy and A.J. made mud pies when the sprinkler system leaked.
(This was a few weeks ago and the dried glob of dirt is still there on the sidewalk.)

Visiting the beach in Carmel.  (A.J. was at a tumbling camp.)  Pebble Beach golf course is in the background.

There was a random group of ladies who met at the beach that morning around the time we arrived.  I heard them praying together and then talking about how far they wanted to walk.  Then they started giving away balloons at random to kids they saw.  Random acts of kindness I suppose.  :)

We saw several dolphins and seals swimming in the water right out a few yards from where we were standing that morning.

Lucy has struggled as there hasn't been much of a set schedule for her and her naps.  Many days she puts herself to bed or other times she just passes out on the couch.  This one afternoon I went out to the garage to watch Peter and A.J. play while she slept and when I came in to check on her I was amused to find Molly snuggled up keeping an eye on her.

Matt amusing all the neighbor kids by riding Peter's teeny bicycle.
 (It's small enough now that Peter will really need a bigger one already soon.  *sigh*)

A.J. trying our her soccer cleats and shin guards for fall soccer and riding the plasma racer.
So stylish and well coordinated.